


Don't Let Me Go.

by Jem135



Category: Kate McKinnon - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-10-04 15:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 28,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10281914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jem135/pseuds/Jem135
Summary: Jenna Mulaney; hard working, high-ranking human being making her way through the struggles of having been to hell on Earth. A war zone. Literally.





	1. Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new story- I've had this idea for months now, but I was really inspired by this weeks SNL episode (S42E16), so I thought I'd just go for it. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy- let me know in the comments! :)

"The 09:43 flight to JFK Airport is now boarding. Please make your way to the gates. Thank you." The tannoy voice recited, filling the entire London airport. 

I should have gone to visit my family while I was in England but I just want to get home. I've already made it through a connecting flight that took around 8 hours, just to be here. And I'm another 5 or so hours away from being home. 

And I haven't had a chance to change yet. Not enough time between flights (that and I'm paranoid I'll miss my flight if I don't head straight to the gates) and lack of foresight on my part having not packed a change of clothes in my carry on. 

But it doesn't matter because I'm only 5 hours away from finally being home after 6 months away. 

\----------------------

"Thank you for flying with us, and welcome to New York." The pilot speaks through the plane, I'm up and out of my seat, ready to go. 

The couple of friends I'm travelling with and I make it off the plane fairly quickly, which means more time to wait for our luggage. 

I spot my bag, standing out with its bright orange cable type rope tying the two shorter handles of my holdall together. 

Finally, we make it through the arrivals corridor. 

My friends get the big welcome home they'd dreamt about and seen in the sappy facebook videos. 

But not me. That can't happen to a girl who's got no one in the city of dreams.


	2. 'Airports Are Dangerous'

I made my way through the busy New York airport, trying to dodge people who were rushing to catch their flight, the little kids who somehow managed to wonder away from their families, as well as trying to dodge the suitcases being dragged along behind travellers. 

Airports are dangerous. 

I was also trying to avoid the stares of people as I passed them; the uniform really does draw some attention. Some people look at me like some kind of hero, some smile warmly, but most people just look on in worry. Especially if there's a group of us walking together. 

But today I'm walking alone, so there isn't much attention, which I am thankful for. 

I'm almost at the door when I crash into someone. 

And by crash I mean full on body slam to the floor. 

Airports are dangerous, I'm telling you! 

In all of my efforts to avoid a small toddler, I manage to side step around, trip on a suitcase wheel and fall into someone. 

Well shit. 

"Oh my god. I am so sorry. Are you ok?" I ask after the shock of what's happened passes, I move off of who I now see is a blonde woman. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine! Are you ok?" She laughs it off, looking up at me finally when she asks me if I'm ok. 

I'm on my knees, level with her. We lock eyes and I swear my insides melt just a little bit. 

She's beautiful. 

Like, annoyingly so. 

"Are you ok?" She asks again. 

Voice of a freakin' angel. 

I shake myself out of my little haze "Yeah, yes. I'm fine. I didn't hurt you did I? I'm so sorry. I was trying to avoid a tiny human but ended up crashing into you instead..." I ramble out. 

Oh god. I ramble when I'm nervous. She's barely spoken and she's already got me into a nervous mess of a human being. 

"It's ok, I saw what happened. It's fine, really." 

We just spend a few moments looking at each other. 

"Oh, here. Let me help you up." I stand and offer her my hand, which she takes, and I gently pull her to stand in front of me. 

"Thank you..." she drifts off at the end, implying I should tell her my name. 

"I'm Jenna, Jenna Mulaney." I fill in. 

"Well Jenna, it's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Kate McKinnon." She looks a little nervous when she tells me her name, like she's expecting some kind of reaction from me. 

"The pleasure is all mine Kate. Now, could I get you a coffee or something as an apology for almost crushing you into the ground?!" I laugh at my own words.

What a loser! 

"That would be great!"


	3. "The Real Kicker Of The Story."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING- a very quick mention of death nearing the end of the chapter. Nothing graphic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!
> 
> So, welcome to the first proper chapter of my new story. The first two chapters were so short because I wrote it in the notes on my phone and couldn't really handle the tiny keyboard and all the mistakes I was making; that's why they're so short! 
> 
> Hopefully this chapter is much better and to my usual standard. And hopefully you're enjoying what I've produced so far; I intend for this to be very different from 'You Want Me?!', but again, I hope it's something you enjoy reading. I've got big things planned for this story; it's all the stuff I knew wouldn't/couldn't be worked into my other story. 
> 
> I've got a little outfit idea for this chapter- http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=218534148
> 
> Let me know what you think of this "proper" chapter :) 
> 
> (PS. Hoping to have an update for 'You Want Me?!' for you tomorrow night!) xx

“So Jenna Mulaney, what do you like to do for fun?” Kate asks me as we sit at a small table in the Starbucks conveniently located in the airport. 

“Erm… I watch movies, go to the gym, catch up on sleep. Nothing exciting. What about you?” I respond rather boringly, as if it’s just hit me how much time I spend at work and not doing other things to broaden my horizons. 

“That’s not boring if it’s stuff you enjoy! I like spending time at home with my cat Nino and cooking, I don’t really get a lot of time to do other things whilst I’m working.” She explains and reassures, making me feel a little better about my lack of extra curricular activities.

“And what do you do for work?” I ask curiously.

“Oh! I, um, well. I’m a comedian. I’m actually a cast member on Saturday Night Live. Have you seen it?” Kate seemed surprised when I asked that, as if she wasn't expecting it. 

“I’ve seen it; used to watch it religiously but then I moved and work got in the way. When did you join the cast?” I respond excitedly; I loved that show, the sketches made me laugh so much and the fact that everyone in the show was multitalented just made it more exciting to see what they could produce each week. 

“I joined in 2012. So 5 years ago now. Wow.” She laughs at her own words. I shoot her a confused look and she elaborates “I just can’t believe it’s been 5 years already. It’s flown by!” 

“Well, I moved 5 years ago, so I just missed you. But I can only assume that you’re amazing at what you do based on what I’ve seen from other cast members.” I compliment.

“I wouldn't say that, but watch an episode and decide for yourself on that.” Kate takes a sip of her coffee before meeting my eyes, pausing and then asking another question. “So, you know what I do for work, how about you? What pays your bills?!” She jokes. 

“I’m in the military. Marines to be exact.” I say simply, gesturing to my uniform. “Just got back from a 6 month tour in Afghanistan.” I expand.

“Wow.” 

“Yep.” 

“Do you enjoy it?” Kate asks, completely interested in what I have to say.

“I love it. My dad was in the Marines a long time ago, and the more I thought about what I wanted to do with my life the more I thought about following in his footsteps. It just seemed like the right way to go in my life. I-“

I’m cut off by the loud speaker system, announcing a flight to Boston. 

Kate’s eyes widen and she looks down at her watch, mumbling under her breath. 

“I’m so sorry. That’s my flight, I need to go. I’m so sorry to cut this short, but here’s my number. Can we maybe get lunch when I’m back?” Kate scribbles her number on a napkin, sliding it over the table to me as she stands and collects a small carry on bag.

“It’s fine! I’d love to have lunch sometime, I’ll text you so you have my number and we can arrange it.” I take the napkin and fold it neatly into my pocket, standing and also collecting my bag and half filled coffee cup. 

“That was a really stupid question wasn't it?” 

“What was?” I ask confused.

“Asking what job you do! It’s quite obvious that you’re in the military. God, so silly!” Kate laughs at herself.

“It’s fine. Anyway, go before you miss your flight!” I laugh with her, gesturing to the general direction of the gates with my free hand.

“See you soon. Thank you again for the coffee!” And with that she’s rolling her little case away from me.

 

————————————————————

It was exactly a week later that we’d arranged to go for lunch at a little cafe Kate suggested in the city. 

Thankfully not too far away from my apartment. 

“Hey.” I walk into the cafe to see Kate sat at a small round table.

“Hi Jenna. How are you?” 

“Im great, thanks. How are you? How was the trip?” I ask, taking a seat opposite her.

“Good. It was fine, just had to go to a few meetings there about some future projects. Enough about me! I want to pick up where we left off; tell me everything!” Kate leans forward on her folded arms, her full attention on me. 

“What do you want to know?” I giggle.

“Let’s start nice and easy; when’s your birthday and where did you grow up?” 

“Ok, my birthday is the 6th of June and I grew up in a place called Bath, which is a couple of hours away from London.” I answer.

“I knew I could detect an accent!” Kate points a jokingly accusing finger at me. “Ok, and how old are you?” 

“I’m 29, only 3 months to go until the big three-oh!” 

“Aww! You’re a baby!” 

“Really? You can’t be that much older than me!” I will be floored if she tells me she's in her 40’s, looking the way she does. 

“Only 4 years older, but still. Anyway, you're distracting me! Next question, you don’t have to answer, but why did you move to New York?” 

“Um, well it’s sort of a sore subject, but I trust you so I’ll answer. I moved here when I was 24; I needed a change of scenery. It was perfect really, I was offered a transfer to the United States Marines just when everything in my life was going to shit. My dad died suddenly from a heart attack when we were out looking for a birthday present for my mum, and then a couple of weeks later I found out that the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with was cheating on me. I was offered the job, so I took it. Packed up my stuff and got on the next plane out of there.” I let out a dry laugh at the memory of the pain from that period in my life.

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault. It is what it is.” 

“Worst thing about it was, I was being cheated for practically the entire 7 years we were together.” I play with my napkin, ripping it into shreds as I talk.

“He sounds like a dick.” 

“She was.” I look up at her, giving her a little smirk before looking back down at my little pile of ripped up tissue. 

“Oh.” 

“Uh-huh.” I put the tissue down and look up with a smile. “On to more happier times, next question!” 

“So, you like women?!” 

“I was married to one…” 

“Oh shit! And she was cheating on you?!” Kate asks shocked at my little revelation.

“Yep. That’s the real kicker of the story, huh? Married at 22, divorced at 24. Hashtag goals, am I right?!” another dry laugh escapes me. Kate just looks more and more shocked. “Don’t worry, I’m over it. There’s much bigger and better things in this world to be focused on.” I pat her on her hands that rests on the table. “Can I ask you a question now?” 

“Of course.” She sits up a little straighter and a dimpled smile spreads across her face. 

“Do you like women too?” 

She laughs, a proper belly laugh. “What gave it away?!” 

“I may have googled you and watched a few youtube videos…” 

”Oh and what did you find out about me?”

“Call me old fashioned, but I’d rather learn it from you properly rather than going by what the internet says. So, I won’t be sharing that.” 

“Fair enough. I’d really like to get to know you properly too.” 

“Good. Shall we get some food? I’m starving!” I ask, looking at the little menu on the table, passing the other to Kate when she nods in response.

“Before we do, I have one more thing I need to ask you before I explode.”

“Ask away!” I laugh a little at her phrasing.

“Are you related to the comedian John Mulaney at all?!”


	4. "Did We Just Become Gym Buddies?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO LOVELY HUMANS!!
> 
> Thank you for reading this story so far; already at over 140 hits which is brilliant! 
> 
> I've had this chapter idea for a while but I wasn't really sure how I would work it into my other story. So it made more sense to put it in this one, as I already had outfits designed (just needed to add the names) and wanted to use them! 
> 
> Speaking of, here are the outfits- http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=218770851
> 
> Tell me what you thought of this chapter; it's 2240 words of pure random stuff that just kept coming to mind as I wrote. Hopefully it isn't terrible and is still somewhat enjoyable to read. 
> 
> Also, let me know what you'd like to see from this story- I have 3 or 4 main ideas that I will get in the story at different intervals, but I need to build up the ground work of characters and establish their relationship before certain things can happen. So any ideas you have will be welcomed and most likely be included to bulk up the story. :) 
> 
>  
> 
> On an unrelated note; I've been listening to Original Broadway cast recordings whilst writing recently. We've got everyone's favourite 'Hamilton'. Also really, really love 'Dear Evan Hansen', man can Ben Platt sing. And as I was writing this chapter, I ventured into the unknown with the soundtrack of 'Spring Awakening'. If anyone has seen any of these, please let me know what you thought of the show and what your favourite song is!

“Thank you for today, I really enjoyed myself… Did you maybe want to do something tomorrow?” Kate thanks me at around 10pm that night.

We’d had lunch and then decided to go for a walk around the park and somehow ended up back at my apartment, unable to stop chatting away and trying to learn everything and anything we can about each other. 

“You’re welcome. And thank you to you too, I really enjoyed today as well.” I smile at her as she stretches her arms next to me on the sofa. “I’d love to do something tomorrow, but it'll have to be after 11am, I have to go to the gym. I can’t let that slip whilst I’m on leave.” I explain.

“Oh god, I haven’t been to the gym in months!” she laughs out a groan, her hands rubbing at her eyes like a toddler would. 

“You could come with me if you want!?” I joke.

“Really?” she says seriously.

“If you want to, of course you can!” I sit up a little straighter and look at her deciding face.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?!” 

“Did we just become gym buddies?!” I laugh, changing the ‘Step Brothers’ movie reference slightly, lifting my hand for a high five which she gives me. “Great, we can go to the gym and then get lunch again if you want? I don’t want to take up your whole day, I’m sure you've got plenty of better things to be doing.” 

“Sounds like a plan, and if we end up spending the whole day together like we did today, I wont be complaining. I like spending time with you.” Kate looks over to me and gives me a shy smile that is followed by the pop of dimples in her cheeks.

“I like spending time with you too.” I say simply, matching her smile.

She was just about to say something else when a car horn interrupts her. She sighs before standing and slips on her shoes and picks up her bag from their home on the floor. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning, thank you again for today.” 

“My pleasure! I’ll come and get you at 9:30, so text me your address when you text to let me know you got home ok, please?” I say, standing too and leading her to the door which I open for her, pausing to look at her.

“Of course, see you tomorrow then. Oh, do I need to bring anything?” she asks when she stops in front of me.

“Just a change of clothes if you're going to wear your gym stuff there, and water.” I answer with another smile.

“Ok, see you tomorrow.” she gives me a warm hug before almost skipping to the waiting taxi, giving me a wave before climbing in and zooming off.

——————————————————————

“Yo! I’m here, you ready to go?” I say into my phone the following morning.

“Yep, 2 minutes and I’ll be down.” Kate responds, by the sounds of it she’s just left her apartment, the door shutting behind her.

“Cool. I’m going to hang up now!” I laugh and hear her laughing too, saying thats fine.

A couple of minutes later I see Kate exiting her building, looking around for me. I beep the horn on my car and she jumps, causing me to giggle a bit at her surprised expression. She looks my way and I flash the lights of my car to get her attention, waving when she looks at me. 

“I feel like I’ve just gotten myself into a drug deal or something with the way you got my attention by flashing your lights at me!” Is the first thing Kate says when she sits in the passenger seat of my car. 

“Sorry, not sorry. Anyway, you ready to do this?” I ask, getting the car in gear and driving towards my friends gym (which he allows me to use for free in exchange for checking in whilst he is away doing his thing in the military too). 

“I think so, just please go easy on me. I haven’t been for a while and in no way have I ever reached the standard of what you can most likely do.” she laughs.

“Don’t worry, we won’t do anything too fancy. And I can only do certain things because it’s required of me to do my job, I’m sure you’ve got things like that too. Like those quick changes for SNL, I’d mess up that perfectly running machine the second I tried to go from one character to the next in 5 minutes.” I reassure her.

“You saw the video on youtube then?” 

“Of course I did, and who knew you’d look good as a blob fish!” I pat her on the knee with a free hand, jokingly. Well, not really. She does look good as a blob fish.

“Yeah, it was funny on paper. Didn't really think through the whole having to have prosthetics stuck to my hands and face part of it…” she trails off.

“And it’s funny on screen too. I watched the sketch last night and honestly, I haven’t laughed that much in ages. Really, that and the alien abduction sketches hit me right in the giggles!” I laugh lightly at the memory of the sketches I’d mentioned, speaking genuinely at my love for them.

“I’m glad you liked them. Me, Aidy Bryant and the two head writers wrote all of those sketches you just mentioned.”

“You did?! God, so talented… Can you stop it!?” 

“Stop what?” Kate looks confused. 

“Being so good at everything and having so many talents. It’s not fair!” I explain. 

“Sorry, not sorry!” she uses my words against me.

“Fine. Anywho, we’re here!” I pull into a free parking space. “Let’s get our gym on!”

———————————————

 

“COME ON!! 10 seconds left… you've got this Kate! You can do it… and done!” 

“Oh my god… nope. Never again.” She lets her arms give out and flops on the floor.   
“That was brilliant! You just held a plank for a minute and a half. That’s pretty impressive if you ask me.” I sit down on the floor next to her, crossing my legs and having a quick drink. 

“If you say so.”

“I do say so. Now, you can decide what we do next.” I pat her on the back, which prompts her to sit up and take a drink too.

“Don’t mind.” she takes another sip and looks around at the gym, surprisingly deserted this morning. “Maybe do something for arms? I don’t know! There’s a reason I haven’t been to the gym for ages; I don’t know what I’m doing!” she’s caught her breath back and points in the direction of the weights.

“Sure we can do arms. Lessgo!” I jump up and hold out my hands to bring Kate to a stand in front of me. Me being me, misjudged the pull and brought her straight into me. “Woah. Sorry. You alright?” I ask, steadying her with my hands on her hips.

it takes a moment for her to respond, she’s just looking at me. “Hm?” 

“Are you ok? I pulled you kinda hard then.” I repeat.

“Oh. Oh yeah. Fine!” her gaze breaks and she smiles lazily at me. “Lessgo!” She repeats me, skipping to the weights area.

“Ok, this is the bench press. With this you just need to lie down on the bench, bring the bar down and then push it up, repeating that for 12. Then you take a break while I do my 12 reps and then you do it again.” I explain as we reach the equipment, I start preparing it so the weight isn't too heavy but it isn't too light either. “Ready?”

“Yep, just help me though.” 

“Of course. I’ll stand by your head, make sure you don’t drop it on your pretty face!” 

“You think my face is pretty?” she says, mid way between sitting and laying down on the bench.

“I mean, have you seen your face?! Come on, get to it.” 

She lies down, looking up to me, her face upside down in my view. “Ok, just grip the bar, lift it up and then bring your arms level with your shoulders so you aren’t reaching backwards. Good. Now lower it slowly towards you, stopping about there.” I guide her through the movements, watching as she does them. Girl’s got arms!! “Ok, now just lift it back up slowly. Great. Now just do that 11 more times and then you get a break.” I stand there, not morning form my position, giving words of encouragement as she hits the 10 reps mark, pushing her for the final two. 

“Woo! You did it!” I high five her when she sits up. “My go. Take a rest while I do mine if you want.”

“Out of curiosity, how much can you bench press?” Kate asks, now in my position at the head of the bench, looking down at me.

“100kg.” I respond simply, in between lowering the bar down my chest and lifting it back up.

“That’s almost 16 stone! That’s like lifting a grown man over your head!” 

“I kind of need to be able to lift that weight; most of the men I serve with are that with all their gear. I need to be able to move them if we ever get stuck in a sticky situation…” I trail off my explanation, not really wanting to go into memories of having to move wounded soldiers to safety.  
“Fair enough. Do you think you could lift me?” She smirks down at me.

“Duh. Unless you weigh more than that, I could lift you any day.” I say smirking back at her.

“Prove it.” 

I put the bar back into it’s holds, standing from the bench and laying on the floor in a large space between the few machines. I fix my t-shirt thats riding up and then lift my arms up above my head, fingers reaching for the sky. 

“Right, come on then.”

“What do you need me to do?” Kate asks as she stands next to me.

“I need you to face that wall.” I say pointing to the wall I’m laying parallel with. “Keep your body tense, and then when you're up in the air, cross your legs at your ankles. Ok?” I explain, the words coming easy to me. When there is free time, this is what we do during training. 

“Ok.” she faces the wall, her feet in line with my face and arms, back towards me.

“Now, lean back as if you were going to sit down.” I start to explain, but I’m cut off by Kate giggling like a school girl. “What are you laughing at?” I giggle along too.

“You’re basically saying sit on your face.” Kate laughs.

“Jesus. I could make a comment, but I won’t. We aren’t there yet.” I motion with one finger for her to turn around again. “As I was saying, lean as if you were to sit down, and I’ll put my hand between your shoulder blades to support you. The other hand is going to be on your arse. Now, I’ll ask you now, will that be a problem?” 

“Nope, no problem with that.” she giggles again.

“Have you been drinking, you're very giggly? Is there vodka in that water bottle that I don’t know about?!” I joke with her, unable to stop the laugh that escapes me too.

“Just lift me up will you!” 

“Ok, now lean back and tense up.” She does and within seconds my hands are (very happily) in their positions on her body and she’s in the air above my head. 

She squeals (yes, squeals) in delight as I start repeating the motions of lowering her towards me and then lifting her back up towards the ceiling. 

I put her down gently and she gracefully falls to sit next to me, legs crossed.

“Well, that was fun! But can that be it for today, I don’t think I can do anymore. My whole body feels like jello…”

“That’s fine! We’ve done a good hour and a half. Let’s got get changed and get some lunch, you’re probably starving after all that hard work.” 

——————————————

We change and decide meet up in the main lobby area of the gym. I finished changing first, so I take a seat at a table waiting for Kate to emerge ready for our next adventure.

“Damn girl, look at those legs!” finds its way out of my mouth before I can stop it when I see Kate walking towards me in those amazing heels. 

“You like?!” she teases as she comes to stand in front of me. 

I don’t hide the fact that I am very obviously checking her out, head to toe. It just makes her smirk and then smile even wider at me.

God she’s beautiful. 

How can she go from a hot sweaty mess, to put together and radiant in the space of 15 minutes? HOW?! 

She’s practically perfect, I’m telling you.

“Oh definitely. How in the world are you even walking in those shoes though?” I ask, baffled by other women’s choices to wear those high heel death traps.

“Practise.” She walks towards the door, eyes reaching back to me still sat at the table “Now, where are we going for lunch? I’m wasting away here!”


	5. "I Am Indeed!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!
> 
> Please enjoy the next chapter; let me know your thoughts on it. Comments make me so happy and I've only had a couple on this story, which is making me doubt myself!

"So, did you have fun in Las Vegas? I saw a few pictures of you with the virtual reality headset, looked like you were enjoying yourself!" I ask Kate on the phone a week after our little gym session.

"Absolutely! I was a bit worried when they asked me to attend, but I'm glad I went. It was good fun." 

"I'm glad, now can you answer me this one question?" I start slowly, building up the tension of what I'm going to ask.

"Yep. Ask me anything you want." She replies, conviction clear in her voice that she means I can ask her what ever I want. 

I try and sound as serious as I can, but we both end up bursting into a fit of laughter by the end. "What's this about you deepthroating a pickle?!"

\---------------------------

"You know how you're a big fan of Saturday Night Live?" Kate starts after a mouthful of the dinner she had so kindly cooked for us a few days later. 

"Yeah..." I say cautiously.

"Would you maybe want to come and see the show live?" 

"Of course, I’d love to see you in action!" I answer, excitement very clear in my response. 

"Great, well how's next week sound?" She asks with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"I'm free Saturday, sounds good." I nod to myself, confirming my calendar in my head.

"That's not what I said... are you free all of next week?!" she smirks.

"I've got somewhere to be on Monday and Thursday evening, but apart from that, nothing planned. Why?" I ask, confused.

"Would you maybe want the full SNL experience? Come along on writing night, sit in on the read through and watch the rehearsals on Friday?!" 

"Are you serious?" 

"As a heart attack!" 

"I'd love to! Oh my god, wait. Am I being pranked right now?" I start over exaggerating my head movements, looking for hidden cameras around her kitchen. 

"No you're not being pranked, now will you come to work with me next week or not?!" Kate laughs at my antics.

"Of course I will!" I get up from my chair and walk around the island to her, giving her a big hug. "Thank you." 

\-------------------  
“Good day yesterday?” Kate asks as soon as she gets comfortable in my car on Tuesday evening. I’m currently driving her back to work, where I will be staying and getting to experience the famous writing night at SNL. 

“Yeah, did a bit of shopping before my meeting, nothing exciting. You?” I answer, concentrating on the road ahead of me, looking over to her, smiling, as I direct the question at her.

“It was good, we did a pitch meeting and caught up with what everyone did over the break. What was your meeting about?” Kate explains, then looks at me curiously with her next question.

“Oh, um… well, I go to a support group for serving soldiers twice a week. Just helps me get back into the swing of normal life when I come back.” I explain, trying to keep the explanation short and sweet. 

“I didn't realise you went to meetings. That’s good, I guess?” she says, looking at me with a hint of pity and sadness in her eyes. “You know, if you ever want to talk to me about that stuff, you can. Right?” she takes a hold of my right hand, giving it a supportive squeeze.

“Thank you.” I squeeze her hand back. “I know I’ve not really told you anything other than the fact that I’m a marine and I’ve served in Afghanistan, and I’m sorry about that. It’s a big part of my life that I haven't shared with you, but some of it’s tough to hear and most people I meet don’t want to know. But if you want me to, I’ll tell you more.” 

“I’d really like that. If it’s a big part of who you are, I want to know. I want to know everything about you.” 

“That’s a little creepy…” I mumble jokingly under my breath, but loud enough for her to hear.

“Hey!” She swats the side of my thigh with the back of her hand with a laugh. 

“But I want to know everything there is to know about you too.” 

—————————————

“So, here we go. Let’s eat and then go through what we’ve got so far.” Chris Kelly says as he places down the boxes of pizza we’d ordered onto the small round table in the middle of the room. 

I’d been sat in Kate’s office with Chris, Aidy Bryant and Sarah Schneider. 

Dream Team. 

Geniuses.

Gods.

All four of these humans are absolutely the nicest, kindest, funniest and smartest people I’ve ever met. How they can each have all 4 qualities is beyond me. 

They’d spent the majority of the evening so far making rough drafts of sketch ideas, bouncing notes off of each other and having a laugh whilst doing so. I’ve had the pleasure of being their audience; testing ideas out on me, and seeing if I had anything to critique (I didn’t). 

“So tell us Jen, what do you do?” Aidy asks, taking a sip of her water.

“Oh, sorry.” I chew a bit quicker on my final mouthful of pizza so I can answer. “I’m in the Marines.”

“So, you're a soldier?”

“I am indeed!” I sit up and lean forward to place my empty plate on the table in front of me, staying in that position, necklace that I never take off dangling in the space between my body and t-shirt.

“That’s really great. Thank you.” She gives me a sincere look, which I give a curt nod in response. “Do you have any stories that you could share? I know it’s no fun being in a war zone, but do you have any funny stories?” 

“I do actually. Well. I think it’s funny, you might not.” I smile at the memory of being at base camp with my guys, our free time was spent trying to amuse ourselves. 

“Go ahead.” Aidy smiles and leans back in her chair, getting settled in for my story.

“One time, me and my team were waiting for our shift to start, we had a few hours to kill before we had to move, and we were bored of card games and it was too hot to play football. Sorry, soccer. So we decided to make a video instead. Have you guys seen ‘Orange is The New Black’?” I ask, looking around the small circle to see nodding heads.

“Only the best show to exist.” Kate says, a small smile directed at me.

“Agreed. Now, you know when they do CO Bennett’s back story and they flashback to him dancing?” more nods of recognition. “Basically, we made up a dance routine to the song ‘Baby Got Back’ and then sent it home to my guys’ wives for mothers day. According to them, their ladies loved it.” I giggle at the memory of big strong men dancing to such a silly song, all in sync with the routine. 

“Now that sounds like a sketch idea!” 

————————————————————

“I can’t believe Lorne liked that idea! Now you need a real routine and everything. What have you gotten yourself into Kate?!” I laugh as Kate and I walk out of the table read. 

So, turns out Lorne Michaels loved the whole ‘soldiers dancing to ‘Baby got Back’ in a synchronised routine’ idea and wants to see a full version from the cast. Luckily I had the video of what I’d been part of to show him so he had some idea of what it would be like. 

“What?! It’s a brilliant idea!” we pause in the hallway, the rest of the cast passing us in their own conversations with each other. “Leslie will agree with me, wont you Les?!” Kate gets Leslie’s attention as she leaves the room, clapping her on the shoulder as she does.

“What am I agreeing with?” 

“That the last sketch idea we pitched is a brilliant idea!” 

“Damn… Bitch that was amazing! I can’t wait to see it.” Leslie looks at me with a bright smile on her face after agreeing with Kate. 

“What did I tell you?!” Kate directs at me, bringing a hand to rest on my back. “You know, we might be stealing more of your stories in the future, they’re great writing material.” 

“As long as I get some credit, some where, I don’t mind!” I reply jokingly, bringing a hand to come and wrap around her waist in return.

“Deal. Now, would you take me home?” 

“How very forward of you Miss McKinnon.” 

“Very funny, I need to go to bed before I pass out on the floor.” she says tiredly, leaning into my shoulder slightly.

“Of course I can, let’s go.”

———————————————————

Kate spent Thursday filming the ‘Baby Got Back’ soldiers dance routine with the majority of the cast. She phoned me when filming wrapped to let me know how it went and that it was definitely in the show on Saturday. The pre-recorded segments take too long to be filmed to just have them cut from the show. 

I spent Thursday wrapped up on the sofa, enjoying Netflix and food. 

This is the life. 

Until I had to get up and dressed to head to my meeting. 

———————————————

Friday passed quickly, I chose not to go with Kate because I wanted to be surprised on Saturday night and not know what was in the show just yet. 

I was on my way to the live show (having passed on the full dress rehearsal too), having stopped to buy two bouquets of flowers; one for Aidy, Sarah, Chris and Kate as a group for their office as a ‘Thank you for letting me crash your office for the night’ and the other for Kate. A thank you for being so sweet to me and for allowing me to tag along at your work. 

I was just getting back into my car when I got a phone call.

“Hello.” I answer.

“First Lieutenant Mulaney?” the gruff voice replies on the other end.

“This is she.” I respond, trying to make sure the flowers don’t get squashed on the front seat. 

“This is Major General Hawkins.” my boss addresses himself.

“Hello Sir.” I greet in his pause.

“Hello. I’m calling to ask you a favour.” he pauses again, and I hear the shuffling of paper. 

“Of course, what can I do for you?” 

“We need you to fly out to camp for a month. First Lieutenant Matthews has been injured and we need you to replace him temporarily. I know you’ve just returned home, which is why we are only asking for a month. Will you be able to help us out?” 

I take a moment to process the information. I may have been doing this job for a long time but it still catches me off guard when I get the phone calls.

“Of course. Of course I can do it. When do you need me?”” The dreaded question. The response is always sooner than I’d like.

“Monday. We’d need you to fly out Monday. We can hold the fort for another day, but we need another Lieutenant to share the load.” he explains. 

“I guess I’ll see you Monday then, Sir” I sigh, confidence making itself known in my voice.

“Thank you. See you Monday.” and he hangs up the phone.

Better make the most of tonight then.


	6. "Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfit for this chapter (and Jenna for the previous chapter)- http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=219302763
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you're enjoying the story so far, let me know your thoughts and opinions on it in the comments! <3

I arrive at the SNL studios 15 minutes after my phone call, texting Kate to let her know I’d arrived, her response to sit tight coming back almost immediately.

Knocking on my window causes me to jump at the noise, but the sight of Kate in her ‘fashion sweats’ as she called them, beaming back at me causes a smile to appear on my face. 

“Hey lovely lady.” I say as I swing my door open, catching it by the handle so it doesn't hit Kate. 

“Hey yourself. You ok?” she asks with a smaller smile, bringing me into a hug when I get out of the car.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just excited for the show!” I try and lift my voice, forcing a bigger smile on my face, trying to hide the fact that I’m going to have to leave in just over 24 hours. 

“Good, it’s going to be a great show and I’ve got you the best seat in the house!” She sing songs, taking my hand as she drags me towards the building. I only have time to shut the car door and lock it before I’m out of reach. 

“You’ve done too much for me this week already, I’m happy to sit anywhere, I don’t need the best seat.”

“Oh trust me, you’re going to love this.” 

——————————————————

Front and centre.

That’s where I’m sat.

Front row, right side, first seat on the first row.

Right in the eye line of the host as they do their monologue.

Right in the eye line of the weekend update hosts.

Best Seat in the house.

———————————————

“That was amazing Kate! Oh my god. Thank you so much for bringing me here this week. I can’t thank you enough!” is the first thing out of my mouth when Kate comes to get me from my seat once the audience has left. 

“You’re very welcome. It was a great show, wasn't it?! Favourite part?” she agrees then asks as she leads me to her dressing room.

“Probably the Mrs Rafferty sketch or the dance. Both very funny.” I answer, taking the seat she offered me.

“I’d agree with you there. Do you want to come to the after party? Everyone is going to get some drinks down the road.” she extends the invite. 

“Um, I think I’ll pass. You don’t need to see me drunk just yet.” I giggle and catch her eye in the mirror she’s using to tame her post-wig hair, and I give her a wink. “Besides, I need to get myself sorted for Monday.” I sigh, tracing an imaginary pattern on the arm of the chair with my finger.

“What’s happening on Monday?” 

“Shit.” I sigh out under my breath, bringing my hands to my face. 

“I’m leaving again. Been asked to go back to cover for an injured soldier.” 

“You’re leaving?” Kate turns rather quickly in her chair to look at me. From my position, it looks like there are tears in her eyes.

“Afraid so.” I reply, sadly.

“How long will you be gone?” she stands up and makes her way over to me, stopping just in front of my feet.

“A month.” 

I strangled noise escapes her throat and she launches herself at me, and I wrap my arms around her in a tight hug. Her face buries in my neck and I feel her tears land there.

“It’s ok. I’m not going for long and then when I’m back we can do something fun! I need you to plan something exciting for the two of us to do when I get back, ok?” I reassure her, and try to get her mind off of it. 

We may have only known each other for a matter of weeks, but I’ve never felt this way about someone before. And I was married. 

“But what if you don’t…if you don't come b-“ 

“Don’t even finish that sentence Kate.” I move so I’m looking at her properly. “You can’t think like that. It’ll fly by and I’ll be back before you know it. And when I do get back I want to tell you everything there is to know about me, and I want to know everything about you too. So make sure you’ve got plenty of stories to share. I need to hear about baby Kate and how she got where she is today, ok?” I cup the side of her face, nodding at her so she can see that I’m ok and coming back.

Even if I’m not 100% certain on that fact, I need her to believe it for me.

“Ok. I’ll tell you all about my teenage antics!” she laughs, it’s a sad laugh, but a laugh none the less. 

“Can’t wait to hear it.” I wipe her tears. “Now, how about I take you home and we can maybe watch some crappy tv show and eat good food?” I suggest.

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“Good. Now, I just need to go and get something from my car and I’ll be back, ok?” I put my hands on her hips, applying gently pressure so she stands up, letting me stand too.

“Ok, be quick though!”

———————————————

As soon as I’m out of the building my tears start to fall.  
It’s been years since I’ve felt like this when I’ve been called to serve. For the past 5 years I haven’t had anyone to leave behind or come home to. No real friends who’ve stuck around, no family (who’re in the same country) and no one at home to welcome me back. So, since meeting Kate and getting to know her, it’s made leaving this time so much harder to handle.

And I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to leave again.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached to her. At least not so quickly anyway.

But I have and that’s why this is so hard.

I reach my car, all these thoughts running through my head as the tears streak my face on the journey. I grab both bouquets of flowers from the front seat and make my way back to the blonde beauty waiting for me. All the while trying to hide any and all evidence that I’ve been crying.

“There you are! Thought you'd got lost.” Kate says once I’m back in her room.

“Sorry. I went to get these, hopefully they're ok. They've been sat in my car for a few hours, but these are for you.” I say, holding out the flowers to her.

“Oh Jenna, they’re beautiful. Thank you.” She takes them from me, a big smile on her face. Dimples and all. She breathes in the floral sent before placing them gently on her desk and giving me another hug.

“It’s ok. They’re just a little thank you for brining me to work with you this week. It’s been a literal dream come true so I can’t thank you enough.” I explain as we break the hug, only enough that we can still comfortably rest our hands on each others hips/waist. 

“You’re welcome and you don’t need to keep thanking me, I wanted to do this for you. I know we’ve only known each other for a month but you’re already so special to me.” she raises one hand to rub my forearm that’s resting on her hip. 

“Ok… and you’re pretty special to me too.” 

———————————————————

We made our way to the head writer’s office so I could drop off the flowers; to which I received three very thankful hugs and the offer to drop by at any time. 

An offer I will not be refusing.

We then made the short drive over to Kate’s where we set up camp on her sofa, comfy clothes (always helps to keep a spare/comfortable set in the boot of the car), food, drink and tv. 

We’d relaxed, laughed and talked whilst RuPaul’s Drag Race played on the tv, we’d offered up our own opinions on who should sashay away and who should stay and win the whole thing. It was a night of fun I didn't know I’d needed until it happened. 

I didn't know I needed Kate until I met her.

“Can I write to you?” 

“Huh?” she breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Can I write to you when you're away?” Kate asks, breaking our comfortable silence.

“Yeah. Of course you can write to me.” I sit up from my slouched position on her sofa, looking at her properly. “I’d love it if you wrote to me, but to be honest with you, it usually takes a week to receive mail at the camp from what I’ve heard.” I smile and take in her sad expression.

“You’ve never gotten mail whilst you were away?” 

“No. No, I didn’t. My parents weren’t too pleased with my decision to join, despite the fact my dad was in the marines too. They kind of cut me out in regards to my work, didn't want any part of it. And Laura, my ex, was too busy with other people while I was away to be writing me notes. Looking back, that should have been a real give away as to what she was up to.” I explain, Kate looking more and more upset as I go on.

“Was that not horrible to see everyone else getting letters from home, while you didn’t?” she reaches a hand out and takes hold of my own hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“I got over it pretty quickly; I was in a war zone, there were more important things to be worried about. Besides, I took photographs with me and seeing my friends get letters from their wives and kids was enough for me. They shared their joy with me and that was enough.” I give her a sad smile, which she matches.

“Well, you can share my letters with them if you want. I’ll write to you about all of the funny writing night shenanigans, about my day, about nino’s day.” 

“You and that cat, you crazy cat lady!” I laugh and she laughs too; I’m glad I can make her laugh just as much as she does me.

“He’s my son, what do you expect!? Anyway, I don’t care that it might take a while for you to get my letters, as long as you write back, I wont mind. Deal?” she says, holding out her hand. 

“Deal.” we shake on it; the handshake fades out, but our hands are still clasped together. I bring her hand up to my lips, kissing her knuckles gently. “I need to go.” I say, letting her hand slip from mine as I stand.

“Really?” 

“I’m sorry, Kate. It’s late and I need to do some last minute things before I leave Monday morning. We can do something tomorrow afternoon if you’re not busy?” I suggest.

“Ok, I’d really like that. Just come over when you're done, I’ll be here all day.” 

“Deal?” I hold out my hand for her to shake again.

“Deal.”


	7. "Say Hi To Nino For Me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey party people!!
> 
> Here is the new chapter; hope you like it. It's a bit shorter than previous updates, but I'm wanted to leave it at a certain point so I could leave it where I wanted it for the next chapter. So, hopefully I'm forgiven.
> 
> A request, from me to you. Please leave a comment on what you think of this story so far. Is it good, bad, terrible?! I want to know your thoughts, they really do help me, I take everything you say into consideration when I write :) 
> 
> Wishing you a lovely weekend; filled with fun new memories! I'm off to Ikea with the family to get new furniture for my office! Woo!

Monday morning came around way too quickly for both Kate’s liking and my own. We’d spent the afternoon together yesterday, relaxing in the New York sun and laughing in each others company. 

A pretty solid day in the way of making memories if you ask me.

And so, when it hit 10pm and I decided it was time to go home, Kate offered to take me to the airport the next morning. 

I resisted, but my hand was forced and here she was, driving me (in my car) to the airport, ready to go back to fight much sooner than I expected.

“So, when are you back?” Kate asks me, breaking the comfortable silence we’d had since getting out of the car and checking in.

“I’m back in a month, so end of May some time. Just in time for your new movie, huh?!” I smile and gently nudge her arm with my elbow.

“I’m not really worrying about the new movie right now Jen.” she sighs.

“Well you better not be worrying about me.” I give her a pointed look, eyebrows raised as if to say ‘don’t you dare’. “Focus on your work and on making people laugh. I don’t want to take your mind away from that.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder as we walk to some free seats. 

“I can’t help it. I’ve known you what, 2 months?” I nod in response. “And I’m worried about you already, you're my friend Jenna. I can’t help it, I’d be worried no matter where you were going. It just so happens you're going to a war zone. A literal war zone Jenna. I just, I can’t.” she gets out, sitting down, me sitting down next to her, angling my body towards hers.

“You can’t what?” I ask quietly, not rushing her clearly seeing she’s having a tough time with this. 

“I can’t help but think about what could go wrong over there. I have no idea what it’s actually like, but what I’ve seen on the news scares me. And I care about you so much already. I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” She answers, talking towards her lap, where her hands fiddle, twisting her rings around her fingers.

“Hey.” I pause her fiddling with a hand over hers. “It scares me too, but this is my job and I have to go. I know it looks scary, and it is, but you can’t let those thoughts take over. Just think about what we can do when I get back. And I will come back. You’ll be fed up with me soon.” 

She smiles at my last remark, finally looking up to meet my eyes. 

“I’d never get fed up with you.” 

“Good, because you're stuck with me now!” 

———————————————

We spend the next thirty minutes going over what Kate will be doing for the next month (whose hosting SNL, any TV appearances etc.), and me asking her very nicely if she would check in on my apartment and collect my mail for me. I also asked if she’d be willing to look after my car too, which she gladly agreed to doing, as long as she could drive it around.

Just as I was making a comment about her driving like a lunatic, my flight was called. 

We both look at each other, expressions matching. 

“Well, I guess this is it then.” she sighs, standing slowly.

“Guess so.” I stand, bringing my back up to rest over one shoulder as we walk towards my gate. 

“I should go now.” Kate suddenly says, turning to me and tugging on my sleeve to stop me.

“Ok, that’s ok.” I say taking note of the tears filling her eyes.

“I’ll miss you.” she says and brings me into a tight hug guiding me to her by my waist. I immediately drop my bag to the floor and arp my arms around her too. 

I feel single tears falling on to my neck, and a few quiet sniffles. 

“I’ll miss you too. So much. But I’ll be back soon.” I whisper into her hair.

“Ok.” She leans back, wiping under her eyes. “You need to go now.” She leans down and picks up my bag, handing it to me. 

“Thank you.” I say taking my bag, as I bring my free hand to rest on her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “Say hi to Nino for me.” I say with a smile before leaning in to give her a kiss on the opposite cheek to the one I’m holding. 

I walk away from the crazy blonde, who I undoubtedly have feelings for, standing in the small queue that has already formed. My mind runs crazy with the memories we’d made in such a short space of time; the experiences she’s given me that’ll always be treasured. The smile on my face at those thoughts doubles at the possibility of what’s to come. 

I hand my ticket to the stewardess, who gives me a polite smile and wishes me a pleasant journey, before quietly thanking me for my service. I smile in return, taking my ticket back from her outstretched hand. 

I step aside, turning back to see if Kate was still there. 

She was.

She smiles weakly, giving me a timid wave, one in which I return. 

The image that will get me through the next month is what she did next.

Her iconic two fingered salute.


	8. Time Passes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of letters from Jenna, and a couple from Kate.

Wednesday 26th April, 2017.

 

Dear Kate,

I hope you're well. I arrived safely at camp (in a helicopter, which is by far one of my favourite things about this job), and everyone was excited to see me again. Shocked that I was back so soon, but excited none the less. Always nice to have a warm reception :)

It occurred to me that I never gave you any information on how to actually write to me while I’m here, so I thought I’d send you this letter with all the information. Such a dangling (I watched ‘Ghostbusters’ on my flight, Holtzmann is now my favourite character to exist, ever)! 

There’s nothing much to report back to you; nothing exciting has happened other than the fact that we had a ‘talent show’ yesterday which mainly consisted of grown men singing terribly. 

I know this is only short, but that’s all I’ve got for you. I’m pretty awkward, I don’t know if you picked that up yet?! 

Can’t wait to hear from you, find out what you’ve been up to!

Miss you buddy!! 

Jenna 

:) xx

 

———————————————————————

 

Friday 5th May, 2017

 

Dear Kate,

I’m glad you got my first letter, and that sending yours wasn't too much of a hassle. It’s crazy what you can and can’t write about, incase it’s mistaken for clues or codes. 

I’m pleased to hear you had a great week at work too; wish I could have been there to see Ryan Gosling host again; his last episode was my favourite just because he kept laughing when you did the alien abduction sketch (also, Mrs Rafferty is definitely in my top 5 favourite Kate characters, just so you know). 

This week hasn't been the best for me and my guys. Lieutenant duties are in full swing at the moment, which I won’t bore you with now, but if you really want me to share, I will when I’m home. Speaking of, how’s everything in my flat? My plastic plants aren't giving you too much trouble are they?!

Miss you, you crazy lady.

Jenna  
Xx  
————————————————

Tuesday 9th May, 2017

Dear Jenna,

Since we last wrote, nothing much has happened.

We have the week off of work, which is nice. I went out with Leslie yesterday, had some lunch with her. She says ‘hi’ and based on what we’ve talked about, said she wants to hang out with you properly when you get back. Maybe the three of us can do something together?

Got plans to see Aidy in the next couple of days; we always end up doing something random, such as going for a little boat ride… but it’s always a laugh.

I went to the gym! Be proud of me; I did the same things we did when we went a few weeks ago. It’s something I know I should keep up but I’d rather be sat on my couch with Nino. 

When you get back, I’d really love to hear all about your job and about who you are outside of it. I want to know everything there is to know about Jenna Mulaney, who I’m still not entirely convinced isn't related to John Mulaney! 

Next Saturday’s host is the man, the myth, the robot… Chris Hemsworth!

Big hugs,

Kate.

xx

————————————————

Tuesday 9th May, 2017

Jen.

I just finished writing my letter, turn on the tv and all I see is ‘breaking news’. 

My heart literally sank when I saw that a bomb went off near a camp in Afghanistan. All I can think about is you and if you’re ok. I hate that I can’t just pick up the phone and call you. Hear your voice and know that you’re ok.

I know certain information can’t be released on the news, but what happened? Knowing that no soldiers were near when the bomb went off calms me slightly, but there’s no way no one wasn't hurt. All we know is that people have been hurt. 

I was so worried, but as more information has come to light, I’m just so thankful that you're ok.

When you get home, I’m driving you straight home and we’re going to sit on the sofa and we’re going to cry. 

Let it all out; the fear, the worry and the relief that nothing happen to you. 

I know you’re this big tough soldier, but I saw your face when you told me you had to go back. You were scared. So, we’re going to cry and let it all out and then we can eat pizza and ice cream and watch shit films.

Deal? Deal.

I’m sorry that you’re there, and that you have to deal with the consequences of what has happened there.

Bigger hugs sent your way,

Kate.

xx

————————————————

Saturday 13th May, 2017.

 

Dear Kate,

Thank you.

Both of your letters arrived today, and they have been what’s kept me going. These past two weeks have been hell on earth, and I just needed to see those words and everything felt slightly better. 

To answer your question, the videos on the news were from reporters that had come to our camp. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time when they went out, thankfully they were far enough away that they survived, minor injuries, but it shook them up. Thankfully none of our soldiers were hurt either. 

And please, don’t be sorry. I chose this. I might look like this tough soldier, but I’m really not. 

Due to this weeks events, I’ve been asked to stay an extra week. But don’t worry, I’ll be back in time for you to take me to see your new film the day it’s released!

Thank you again.

Yours,

Jen.

xxx

——————————————————

 

Friday 19th May, 2017.

 

My Dearest, Kate

Things have somewhat settled down this week. My duties have kept me occupied during the days, and spending time with the lads has kept me going in the evenings; seeing their letters and drawings their kids send lifts everyone’s moods. This time, I’ve got something to share with them too. 

They all love your stories from the show, you had most of them from giggling like school girls if I’m honest. Which is always a good thing if you ask me. They especially liked the story with Katy Perry; I won't lie, I enjoyed that one too. She’s hot.

They all tease me when they see me ‘light up’ when I read your letters, dangerous to tease me though seeing as I’m their boss! But I thought I’d tell you anyway, your letters really are the highlight of my week, I love reading about what you've been up to. 

This week, I’ve included a polaroid of me and my guys. I asked them for a photo (a tradition I have) and we all stood in front of one of our tanks. Douchey poses ensued. So, I included a ‘normal’ one too!

Not long left to go until I’m home. 

Love, hugs, and squishes for Nino,

Jen.

———————————————————

 

Saturday 27th May, 2017

 

Lovely Kate,

I know what I wrote, how I began my last letter. It wasn't a mistake.

For the first time in years, I’ve got someone that I want to come home safely to. There’s a surprising amount of time to sit and reflect while you’re here, and I’ve spent my time thinking about my feelings. And from what I can see in your letters, my feelings could be reciprocated. 

But that’s something we can talk about face to face, when I’m home next week.

I’m home on Sunday 4th June, my flight is landing at 5pm in JFK, so if you still want to pick me up, that would be great. If not, don’t worry. 

Glad Nino enjoyed his squishes, but I’m sure they’ll be better coming from me!! ;) 

Don’t reply to this letter because by the time it arrives, I’ll be home.

I’m on my way!

Love

Jen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to the Hamilton soundtrack a while back and was somewhat inspired by 'Take a Break'. So the last couple of letters reflect parts of that song, hopefully I did a good job (a subtle one) that you picked up on.
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	9. "Buzzing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick little chapter to get back into the swing of things. 
> 
> Apologies to the few that do read this story, I never intended to leave it this long before updating again. I won't let 3 months pass without updating again. :) 
> 
> Let me know if you're still reading and what you'd like to see. I've got a big storyline (the main reason I wrote this damn fix in the first place, but I felt like I needed to get reader investment before delving in) planned but I need things to fill the space before that happens. :)

“It is currently 10:30, please be careful when leaving the plane. Thank you for travelling with us and please enjoy your stay.” The captain speaks overhead.

I’m buzzing. 

Literally buzzing with excitement to get off this plane, wash the dirt from my skin and get into some comfy clothes and relax for the first time in over a month. 

I allow everyone off the plane before me, knowing they'd all be rushing to get their bags off the carousel. Perks of only having a carry on.

I make my way through the brightly lit walkways towards the arrivals gate, hoping and praying I see the tiny blonde I’d been dying to see for over a month now.

I scan the crowd, hoping to see any indication of Kate. 

And then I catch bright blue eyes and the sea of people. I stop dead in my tracks and she sees me too. 

A slow smile spreads on her face and then she does something so Kate.

She gives me the two fingered salute.

I laugh and break into a small jog towards her, excusing myself as I accidentally hit someone with my bag. 

I reach Kate and she leaps into my arms giving me a big squeeze. 

Just what I need. 

We stand there for a solid 5 minutes, just hugging it out.

We for sure look like one of those soldier reunion videos you can find online. 

“Let’s get you home.”

—————————————————

“Better?” Kate asks from my sofa.

“Yep, can’t beat a good shower.” I reply, sitting down next to her.

We sit and watch the news in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Kate breaks it.

“So… Do you want to talk about it?” 

I look up to her from my slouched position, legs up on my coffee table. 

“Not particularly.” 

“Have you ever talked about it to anyone once you come back, besides your support groups?” she pushes.

“Not really, once I moved to New York I didn’t have anyone to talk to, I avoided making friends because I knew I wouldn't be able to put in the time to get to know them properly.” I explain. 

“Well, we’re friends. Aren’t we?” Kate asks, timid, turning to look at me properly. 

“Definitely, but I think I just got lucky. You’re easy to get to know and you seem to understand that I won’t be around as much as I would like.” 

“Yeah, I do. Which is why we are going to make the most of the time we have together before one of us has to go away. We’re going to be best friends and you wont be able to get rid of me.” she replies with a laugh. 

“As if I’d want to get rid of you. Now, can we watch a movie or something?”


	10. "It's Time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A beast of a chapter; I hope you enjoy. It is all backstory for Jenna. Probably boring as hell, but I wanted to get this in there as I think that the more you know about a characters past, the better insight you have into why they do/feel certain things. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)

"Ok." I pause the movie we'd been watching and sit up on the sofa looking to Kate. "It's time."

"Time for what?"

"For me to tell you everything about myself. And in return you do the same.”

I was sat in my own thoughts whilst the movie played and I built up the nerve to tell Kate everything there is to know about me. Why wait until I lost the nerve. No time like the present. 

"Deal." Kate sits up too, we both turn to face each other with our legs crossed underneath ourselves. "Start from the beginning. First childhood memory."

So we delve, deep into the mind and being of a younger me. What I was like growing up, did I do well in school, coming out, any relationships, embarrassing moments, the usual.

"Tell me about Laura." Kate says gently after a lull in questioning.

"We were at school together for about 3 years before we ever really sat and had a proper conversation. We became best friends by the time we were 15 and I fell head over heels in love with her pretty much from that first conversation alone." I give a dry laugh at the thought of what we once had. "We went to a friends house for a small get together and she kissed me, when no one was around to see it she planted one right on my lips. I just about died." I laugh along with Kate. "Then she asked me to be her girlfriend , so from then on that's what we were. We were open about it with everyone and no one seemed to care. Happy days."

"What did she say when you told her about joining the military?" Kate prompts as I drift to happier times.

"Hated it. I tried to explain to her that just because she knew that from a young age she wanted to be a hairdresser, it didn't mean that I knew what I wanted to do, so I chose an experience. We were 18 and she had her life planned out, I was just ready to experience something new and hope that it would help me choose a career path. I never thought I'd love the marines so much that it would become my career."

"So when was your first tour?"

"I left for a training camp when I was 18 about an hour away from my home, but I travelled back every weekend to see everyone. And then I was 19 when I first went to Afghanistan." I sit for a moment, processing how far I'd come in the past 10 years, the highs and lows of life.

"After my first tour I came back with all of these stories from the other soldiers, about the wives they'd left at home to look after the kids, and how amazing it is to go back and have someone be there for you and help you settle back into daily routines. And I decided that the minute I saw her again, and ask Laura to marry me. I knew I'd end up asking her the day I met her, so why wait any longer. We'd been together since we were 15, so I had no reason to think we'd break up anytime soon."

I get up and make my way to the kitchen, asking if Kate wanted anything while I was up, returning with two glasses of water before resuming my seated position.

"So I asked her. In the airport the day I got back and she picked me up. Both of our families were there because they thought it'd be nice to welcome their daughter back. She said yes and I didn't ever have a ring."

"You don't always need a ring to propose to someone, as long as you said something meaningful, who cares." Kate cuts in, reassuring me with a smile.

"True. It was like every romance novel I'd ever read came pouring out my mouth in that moment; cringe worthy is how I'd describe it. Anyway, I was home for the next 6 months and the hope was to get married within that time frame but I was really struggling."

"Struggling how?" Kate delves.

"With readjusting to 'normal' life." A lone tear escapes my eye, giving me away. She reaches forward and takes hold of my hand, bringing it to rest on her lap. "I was 20 by this point, and I'd seen way too much death for it to be healthy, and all in a short space of time too. It was scary, the memory of noises and the constant alertness put me on edge even when I was sat at home alone, I was completely in my own head, but I hid it well from everyone." More tears had trickled their way down my cheeks, and I wipe them away roughly with my free hand. "So I stalled the wedding, put it off with lame excuses that Laura seemed to pay little attention to."

"Then what happened, did you get help?"

"Nope, I'd managed to avoid it long enough that I got sent away again before anyone really picked up on it. So off I went. Back to war with a fiancé sat at home, in my mind she was praying I'd come back alive, but I later found out that wasn't the case at all."

"Ok, so you go again, come back and then what?" She's getting impatient now, but hey, she did ask to know everything.

"Ok, I come back and the wedding still hasn't happened. At this point I'm 21 and I'm in hospital-"

"Hospital?! Why?" Kate shrieks out, surprised.

"Because I was shot." I rub my shoulder at the memory. "Bullet went straight through but I needed surgery to get some shrapnel out". I explain.

"So that was an excuse to put the wedding off?"

"Yeah, and I'd say it's a pretty good one." I laugh, causing late to laugh along with me.

"Ok, so I recover and a few months later I'm back out there doing my thing. Next thing I know it's my 22nd birthday and I'm flying home to surprise Laura with a wedding."

"You planned a surprise wedding?!" She asks shocked.

"Hey, don't look so surprised , I'm romantic as hell." I give her a jokingly offended look. "But yes, I managed to plan it all out in the letters I'd written home, to be honest I'm surprised my mum even read them considering she pretty much hated me for joining the marines." I take a sip of my water before looking back to Kate, who is sat intently listening to my life story. "So now I'm a married woman at the age of 22. Amazing. I was off for 6 months; we bought a house and we settled in to our life together. I started going to weekly meetings with a therapist so I could be there mentally for my family rather than just be a body sat on the sofa all day.” 

More tears start to pour down my cheeks at the memory of what happens next in my story. 

“Then the worst day of my life came around. I was out with my dad and he just dropped to the floor. Died instantly from a heart attack. I was home for a week from work, we were going to spend the day together and then he was just gone.” I wipe the tears from my face harshly. “And the worst thing was that I couldn't even go to his funeral because my mum took care of all of the arrangements and made sure I wouldn't be able to go. So I never really got to say goodbye.” 

Kate wraps me up in a warm embrace, rocking me slightly as I calm down. We sit in a comfortable silence for a moment as I think about the next (downward) spiral. 

"I thought I'd done it you know. Succeeded in life. Reached my goals. I had the house, the job, the car, the cat and the one girl I thought I'd get to share that with for the rest of our lives. But it went to shit. And I don't know how I missed it. She sent just enough letters and asked just the right amount of questions so it seemed like nothing was going on, when in reality she was living a complete life without me."

"Well, by the sounds of it you were away a lot.."

"Yeah, my own fault really. How can I look after my wife when I'm thousands of miles away trying not to get blown up? I was stupid to think the relationship would last, but she really fooled me; played her part perfectly."

"You weren't stupid Jen. You were in love and that can do crazy things to people." Kate sits up on to her knees, closer to me, speaking in a reassuring tone.

"Completely whipped. I'd have done anything for her. Literally anything. And once I'd gone back to work I decided I was going to be better for her, because life is way too short. So I decided to surprise her by coming home early for our anniversary. Shit idea really because I caught her in our bed with an old friend from school, Danny."

"I'm sorry, but what a bitch. And I have to ask, is Danny a girl or guy?"

"Don't be sorry. And Danny is very much a woman." I widen my eyes at the memory of seeing a very naked Danny in my bed with my wife. Not an image I enjoyed seeing the first time around, nor is it one I enjoy seeing engrained in my memories.

"Bunch of bitches then."

I laugh a proper laugh at that and Kate joins in after I snort from surprise at her comment.

"Agreed. So as I'm running out the house I get a call offering me a promotion, and I take it without even hesitating. I don't even consider the complications of having to move to a new country. I just needed an out and I didn't even think about Laura in that moment."

"So how did you find out about the details of this whole 'Danny' situation?" Kate asks intrigued.

"Oh I went back home after an hour of wondering around. Don't give me that look, I helped buy that house, I had every right to be there." I respond once I see Kate's slightly 'judging you silently' face. "They were both sat there, and I demanded to know everything, how long it's been going on for, everything. Turns out, they'd been seeing each other behind my back since we were 16. That's 7 of the 8 years we'd been together."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, bitches." Kate mutters.

"Laura begged me to stay and promised she'd break it off and be better. I told her not to bother as I was leaving for good. I told her that she didn't need to worry about me any more and that she could expect divorce papers by the end of the week." I fiddled with my necklace as I spoke, something I do to busy my hands. "So I packed my stuff, said goodbye to the cat and that was it. Here I am, a divorce and two more bullet wounds later, sat in front of you."

"Wow."

"Uh huh. Boring, am I right?!" I joke to try and lighten the tense air.

"Are you happy now?" Kate asks after a moment of thought.

I sit up on my knees and lean my entire body forward, wrapping my arms around her neck, giving her an entire body hug.

"How could I not be? I'm sat with Kate McKinnon on her sofa spilling my life story to her. Life doesn't get better than this."


	11. 'Promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite like this chapter; completely inspired by the song 'Shut Up and Dance' by Walk The Moon. I can't stop listening to it. The song Kate dances to can be any sone you want, I didn't write it with it in my mind that she was dancing to that one specifically.
> 
> Anywho, we're getting into the juicy part now! 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments; they make me so happy! :)

I am awoken by a buzzing noise, playing some sort of rhythm. It takes me a moment to wake fully, registering in my sleep filled mind that it is my doorbell. 

I scramble out of my cocoon of blankets, shuffling my feet along the hardwood floors of my hallway quickly to reach the door. 

I unlock the bolt and swing the door open.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” shouts a voice from behind a balloon, which is quickly moved to reveal Kate’s smiling face. 

“What?” I ask groggily.

“It is today isn't it?” Kate asks, smile dropping at the sudden thought she’d gotten it wrong.

“What’s the date today?” 

“The 6th June.” 

“Yep, it’s today. Can’t believe I forgot my own birthday.” I rub my face with both hands, propping the door open with my hip. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Kate repeats in the same tone as her opener.

“Thanks!” I giggle. “Come in.” I say, gesturing with my arm for her to come in.

“Any plans today Jen? It is the big three-oh after all.” Kate asks, dropping her bag to the floor and handing me the balloon.

“Nope. Nothing special planned. To be honest, I was going to stay in and sleep for as long as possible, then maybe go to the gym.” I respond, walking back down my hallway and into the living room. 

“Well that’s boring.” Kate says like a toddler would. “We need to do something! It’s your birthday!” 

“What do you suggest we do then?” I sit on the sofa and pat the seat next to me, gesturing for Kate to take a seat too. 

“We could go out for lunch? Or we could go out for dinner if you still wanted to go to the gym today?” she suggests.

“You don't want to come with me?!” I ask with a laugh at the memory of our ‘gym date’ weeks ago.

“Sorry, but I’ll have to pass on that one.” she says with sarcasm. 

“Your loss. But sure, lets go out for dinner.” I agree with a smile. “Not that I mind, but why are you here? Don’t you have work or anything today?” I voice my thoughts.

“No work for me, SNL finished three weeks ago and I don’t have anything to do for until it starts up again in five months. So you, my friend, are stuck with me!” 

“Great.” I say sarcastically, followed by a smile. “I can already tell this is going to be the best birthday I’ve had in years.”

—————————————————————

Dinner was amazing. 

Kate insisted on paying, declaring that seeing as she didn't buy me a gift, she had to pay for the meal. After arguing over it, I gave in. Persistent little thing.

And then she twisted my arm and convinced me to go out for a couple of drinks at a bar not too far from her place.

And a couple of drinks turned into way too many drinks.

We were sat at a table, enjoying each others company, drinks in hand. Kate was responding to a quick text while I was watching people on the dance floor. The song suddenly changed, causing cheers to erupt from the large group. 

“Oh my god I love this song!” Kate exclaims from next to me, dropping her phone to her lap, grabbing my arm. “Dance with me?!” 

“What?!”

“Come and dance with me?” 

“I can’t dance Kate. I have two left feet; I’ll just embarrass the both of us, you go if you want-“ I’m cut off by Kate standing from her seat, grabbing my arm again.

“Shut up and dance with me, birthday girl” 

I reluctantly get up too, following her into the large crowd of people all dancing along to the song. 

She starts dancing and I stand awkwardly not knowing what to do, just watching her move to the beat. 

I get completely lost in the woman in front of me, having what looks like the time of her life, dancing along to a song she loves. She looks completely beautiful; an above the knee black dress, outlining her figure perfectly. A dress I also recently discovered is backless, because I think she’s trying to kill me. And her scuffed up trainers. Perfect.

I’m broken from my trance by small hands taking hold of my hips and trying to move them to the rhythm. I keep my body moving at the pace she set and feel her hands move away. Desperate to keep the contact I take both of her hands and just let the music take over, forgetting about the fact that I can’t dance at all. 

I feel like a teenager; awkward and not knowing what to do, but kind of having a brilliant time too. Hopelessly crushing on the girl in front of me and thankfully getting to dance with her. 

The song fizzles out to the next one and by the looks of things we’re still going! Kate’s just getting into the new song when she’s suddenly tumbling a few steps towards me, catching her in my arms, she’s completely flush to my body.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. You ok?” I ask as she wraps her arms around my waist.

“Fine. I think I’m drunk Jen.” She replies, still in my arms. 

“I’d agree with that. Do you want to go?” I say, moving some hair behind her ear.

“Yes please.”

———————————————————

We made it back to Kate’s apartment quickly and easily. 

Getting in the door was a different story. 

“Come on, where did you put your keys?” I ask, trying to coax her into handing them over.

“In my bra.”

“What?!” I ask, completely confused.

“I only needed one key and my phone, so I didn't bring a bag. Put them in a safe place instead.” she muddles out tiredly through long pauses and distracted glances.

“Well, could you give it to me then?”

“Nope.”

And why not?” it’s like reasoning with a toddler I swear.

“Because you have to get it instead.” she punctuates with a finger pointed into my chest.

“Not happening Kate.”

“And why not?!” She stops her foot.

“Because you're drunk.” I say with a laugh.

“Do it anyway?” she asks hopefully with a lopsided smile.

“Nope.”

“But what if I told you I’m not as drunk as you think I am and I’m only slightly tipsy?” She says taking a step closer to me.

“I wouldn't believe you.” 

“Well, you should.” she says, her voice suddenly changing. 

“God you're good. But I’m still not doing it.” 

“Aww, killjoy. Ruining my fun.” she says to me with an over exaggerated sad face as she reaches into her dress to get the key. She opens the door and turns to look at me again.

“Oh really.” I stand and look at her with an intensity in my stare. It doesn't take me long at all to get lost completely in her eyes.

“Yes really.” she’s focused on me too, same look in her eyes. 

‘I can’t be the only one who feels this way. 

Don’t hold back anymore.

Just go for it.’

My inner monologue gives me all the courage I need in this moment to reach my hand out to cup the side of her face and lean down slightly to kiss her. 

‘She’s not kissing me back. Damn it, I need to pull away. How did I get this so wrong? I’ve ruined everything.’ 

I pull back, and look at her. Just as I work up the courage to apologise, she moves. 

I think she’s going to step inside and slam the door in my face, but she does the complete opposite.

She reaches up on her tiptoes, cups my face with both or her hands and kisses me.

I react immediately, my arms wrap around her waist as I start kissing her back with everything I have. 

We stand there, in front of her door for a good few minute kissing ending up with her pressed against the brick wall; my hands roaming down from the top of her ribs to her hips and back up again. Her hands wrapping around my neck and getting lost in my hair. 

I break the kiss slightly, resting our foreheads together and rubbing the tips of our noses together too, not wanting to loose this contact now that I have it. “Promise me you’re not drunk right now.” 

She gives me a quick but deep kiss before responding. 

“Promise.”


	12. "I'm Pregnant and It's Yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!!
> 
> Thank you for commenting on this story; it lets me know you're enjoying it and it motivates me to write more (same can be said for my other story too!!). 
> 
> Some very simple outfits for the previous chapter that sort of continue into this one- https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=225415564
> 
> Let me know your thoughts :)

“Oh no…” Quick movements on the bed next to me jostle me awake.

“Hmph…”

“No. No, no, no.” 

“Wha’s goin’ on?” I mumble out.

“Go back to sleep.” More rustling of fabrics and footsteps fill the room.

“No.” I reply stubbornly. 

“Shh.” she shushed me. 

“Tell me.” 

“I’m late.”

“You’re pregnant? Oh my god, congratulations. We’ll make a lovely family.” I mumble out still half asleep.

“Yes. I’m pregnant and it’s yours!” She replies sarcastically. “No. I’m very late to meet Lorne Michaels. You know, my boss!” she says, something landing on my head as she speaks. I crack an eye open, lift my head and look at the offending item, a white t-shirt. Too tired to do anything, I simple close my eyes and relax back into the pillow.

“How late are you?” I ask.

“Like an hour. He’s actually going to fire me.” she says somewhat breathlessly, getting ready in a rush.

“Might as well come back to bed then.” I bargain.

“Nope.” The t-shirt is lifted from my head and I open my eyes to see Kate standing there in a bra and jeans, putting on the shirt. 

“Come back to bed.” I reach for her hand, pulling her on top of me. “We can have a repeat of last night.” I say with a kiss to her lips as she moves to straddle me over the duvet. “Best birthday ever, by the way.” punctuated with another deep kiss.

We get lost in the moment before she (annoyingly) breaks it.

“I really need to go.” kiss “but stay if you want. We can do something when I get back.” kiss “shouldn’t be too long.”

With one final kiss she's gracefully dismounted me and the bed and is out the door.

—————————————————————

I doze for the next 20 minutes but can’t get comfortable again. 

Time to get up. 

I find my underwear and shirt from last night strewn about Kate’s bedroom floor, unable to find my jeans, I pull on what I can find.

I use the bathroom quickly before making my way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I put in a few ice cubes because there’s nothing like a glass of ice water to wake you up in the morning. 

I pad my way across to the living room where I find Kate’s dress on the floor behind her sofa. Not too far away from it lies my jeans. I pick both garments up and place them neatly over the back of the sofa, smiling at the memory of the passion of the previous night that made it’s way through 2 different rooms.

I take a seat next to a sleeping lump of cat fur and find some morning tv to keep me occupied; I settle on cartoons like a child.

Hey, 30 is the new 5. 

I get comfortable and sit with my knees pulled up to my chest, head resting on top.

Lost in episode after episode of 20 minute glorious animation, I don’t hear Kate coming in the door. I only notice her presence when she wraps her arms around my shoulders from behind and rests her head on top of mine.

“Hey.” 

“Hey. You’re not crying so I take it you’re still employed?!” I joke, looking up at her.

“Yep, I still have a job so all is good in the hood.” she makes a weird gangster gesture with her hand.

“Weirdo.” I say just loud enough for her to hear. 

“Who me?” she asks and then proceeds to like the side of my face. 

“Ew.” I say as I over exaggeratedly wipe the side of my face. 

“I’ll have you know, people love it when I lick their faces. Just ask Louis C K or Woody Harrelson.” 

“No need to show off. And there were no complaints from me last night, so calm down.” I raise my eyebrows suggestively, and smirk at her, rising my hand for her to hive five me.

“Yeah, no complaints on my part either.” she says, meeting my hand with hers in the awaiting hive five. “We should probably talk about that, by the way.” She says suddenly serious.

“Ok.” I pat the seat next to me, which she sits in after climbing over the back of the sofa with ease. “Let’s talk.”

She turns to sit crossed legged facing me, so I put my knees down to the side and rest them on top of her crossed ankles, body turned to her. Awkward position but it gets the job done.

“I had a lot of fun with you last night. Not just the sex part, that was completely mind blowing, but I enjoyed just sitting and being with you at dinner, talking about stuff. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I’ve told you stuff I haven’t even told my mum, and I tell her everything.” Kate starts, maintaining eye contact throughout.

“I enjoyed it too. All of it. And I know it’s only been a few months, and of that time I’ve only been here for a few weeks. And you know everything there is to know about me, I didn't even tell Laura everything there was to know. I’ve told you everything; all my dreams and secrets. I trust you completely and it’s rare that I meet someone that makes me feel like I can do that.” I admit. 

“I’m glad you feel that way with me, and I trust you completely too. I really, really like you Jen.”

“I really really like you too Kate.” I take hold of her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “And on the plus side, you're a complete freak in the sheets.” I add with a cheeky smile. 

The comment earns me a slap (read: tapped gently) to the shoulder. 

”Ow.” I say with a sad pout.

“Aww poor baby.” she leans slightly to rub at the spot she hit. She moves up on to her knees and leans forward, taking me by the collar of my shirt. “Let me kiss it better.” She whispers, very clearly going to kiss my lips instead of my shoulder. 

“Wait.” I restrain myself, managing to control the urge to crash our lips together. “What does all of this mean?” she looks at me confused so I continue. “Are we friends? Was last night a one time thing? What?” I question her.

She leans back and rests on her heels. “Well, I for one do not want last night to be a one time thing, or a two time thing. I want it to be a thing for the unforeseeable future.” She says completely seriously, letting her words sink in before continuing. “Jenna?”

“Yes Kate.” 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” 

“Do you know what being my girlfriend entails though? Are you prepared for the fact that I wont be around for months at a time? I mean, there’s only so much I can do to help you prepare for that. I know what baggage being with me comes with and I don’t want to drag you down.” I ask, ready to jump at the chance to make this official. But I can’t without giving her some sort of disclaimer.

“I’m fully aware and I’m ready. I can’t not take a chance at this because of your job.” she says, the look in her eyes tells me she’s not lying.

“Then, nothing would make me happier than being your girlfriend.” I reply with a big smile taking over my face. She crawls on top of me, her knees on either side of my hips.

“Brilliant. Can I kiss you now?”


	13. "Too Much?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one!! Please enjoy :)
> 
> Outfits (also, pin and bracelet images included if you want to see what is being mentioned near the end)- https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=225419553
> 
> Comments are welcome/encouraged!! :)

We spent a good hour making out on Kate’s sofa like teenagers, giggling and joking inbetween the passionate kisses. 

We fought for the top spot (literally); flipping so I was on top causing little squeals to escape Kate making me laugh, and then surges of dominance from her as she resumed her spot on top of me, causing me to moan deep in my throat. 

Now, having given up on the fight, we led side by side; her with her back against the sofa, my arm under her neck with the other resting on her waist as my hand went exploring under the back of her white (somewhat see-through) shirt. Her hands in my hair, messing it up even further.

She moves to tangle her legs with mine, a gasp leaving her mouth, breaking our kiss.

“You’re not wearing pants.” 

“I know.” I say simply, kissing her neck.

“How have I only just noticed that?” 

“Are you telling me that you didn't notice my amazing legs as soon as you came home?!” I joke, my legs aren't amazing at all. Too muscly for most people, but I happen to quite like them. 

“Can’t say I did.” her hand trails down from its resting place on my shoulder, hooking my knee and bringing it up to rest over the top of her thigh. She teases me, dragging blunt nails down the length of the top of my leg and back up again, meeting me hip. 

“Tease.” 

“Says you. Lounging around my apartment in your underwear and a barley done up shirt. I noticed, don’t you worry.” 

“Good.”

——————————————————

I eventually dragged myself away from Kate and her adorable cat. 

I make it home and notice a message on my answering phone. I waltz over a press the play button waiting for the caller’s voice to fill the room.

“Hello Jenna. Obligatory birthday phone call, hope it wasn't terrible, I sent a card. Maybe you got it, maybe you didn’t. Oh well, I better go.” there was a long pause in which I thought the message was over but then theres a sudden deep breath. “Um, I.. I’ll phone again at another time. Bye.” 

“Love you too mum.” I say into the empty apartment.

——————————————

Later that afternoon a thought occurs to me, so I phone who it concerns.

“Hello?”

“Kate, when does your new movie come out?!” I ask into the phone.  
“Oh, like three days. The premier is on Thursday.” she replies.

“Well it’s Tuesday today! Are you ready?” I ask with a laugh.

“Yeah, everything’s ready to go. Will you come to the premier with me? Pretty please?” She asks sweetly.

“If you really want me to I will. But I’m probably going to embarrass you.” 

“No you won’t. If anything, I’d embarrass you! And I really, really want you to come with me.” she practically begs.

“Fine.” I agree with a sigh. “What do I wear?” 

“A dress?” she suggests.

“Absolutely not.” I supply.

“Ok then, I’ll send you a picture of my dress and just find something that your comfortable in that matches. Deal?” 

“Deal. Best girlfriend ever!” I say with a smile into the phone. 

“Yep and she has to go, see you soon!” She says, making kissing noises into the phone before hanging up. 

I laugh to myself at my crazy girlfriend.

Time to find something to wear.

————————————————

Having spent time studying the picture Kate sent of her dress, (albeit, it was only a small section of the dress to show me the colour and not the entire thing) I finally find something I think will be suitable as well as comfy and somewhat fancy.

So, having spent the whole day looking for the perfect outfit, the premier came around quite quickly. 

Kate instructed me that her apartment would be a mess of hair, makeup and wardrobe, and that it would be wise to stay away until the last minute. 

So that’s what I’ve done. 

I took my time getting ready. 

Doing my hair in loose beach waves, to the best of my ability. 

Hey, I go to war, not do hair professionally. 

But I’m presentable and I have to say, I don’t think there’s been a day in my life that I’ve looked this good before.

#Winning.

With the premier due to start in an hour I make my way over to Kate’s apartment, praying that most of the chaos has died down and she's almost ready to go. 

————————————

“You look incredible.” 

Meanwhile I’m stood on her doorstep, mouth opening and closing like a gold fish.

Completely lost for words, I continue taking in the view in front of me.

Beautiful red dress, makeup done to perfection, jewellery shining in the light and not a hair lout of place.

“Beautiful…” I mumble out, still in a daze.

“Get in here.” she laughs at my frozen frame, taking hold of my hand to pull me in the door.

“Do we have to go?” I ask, finally coming back to reality. “Because I don't think I’m going to make it through an entire movie with you looking like that.”

“Oh really?! And you think I will be able to?” she says standing directly in front of me. With her heels on we’re the same height. I take advantage of that and lean forward for a quick peck on the lips. 

“I just want to rip this dress off.” I whisper, very aware of the noises of people not too far away from us in the other room. I rest my wandering hands on her waist. 

“Please don’t. Well, not right now at least.” she winks. “I’m impressed you know.” she says, looking down at my outfit, before wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Really? Didn't think I’d be able to pull this off?” I ask, looking down at my own outfit.

A black jumpsuit with a white band that acts as the straps, sitting off the shoulder. Having seen the colour of Kate’s dress, I knew wearing the same colour would clash, so I accessorised with a red belt and bag. 

“I knew you would, but not this well. We look good together.” she states, turning her head to the side to look into the full length mirror hanging on her wall (conveniently) opposite us. 

“Yeah we do.” I agree, resting my head on her shoulder. 

“I like your pin too.” she says, placing her index finger on the badge pinned to the left above my heart on the white band of my jumpsuit. 

“Why thank you. Got to make a statement even if no one will notice it!” 

“If they don’t see that, they’ll see this.” She says lifting my right wrist, twirling the rope bracelet around that has the colours of the rainbow in the middle of it. 

“Too much?”

“Just enough.”


	14. "Definitely Lucky."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Just wanted to get an update out as I'm off on holiday on Wednesday to visit family, so I won't have the chance to update for a couple of days.   
> It's nothing special in this one, just wanted to get something out!
> 
> Enjoy your week lovely people!

“That was amazing! Oh my god, so talented.” I gush as the movie finishes and there is applause from the audience in the theatre.

“Aww, thank you.” Kate says leaning over the arm rest and giving me a quick kiss.

“I meant Scarlett Johansson, but you were good too I guess.” I tease, poking my tongue out. 

“Mean.” is all the response I get for that.

She turns her head back to face the big screen, crosses her arms over her chest and relaxes her face with no expression.

“I’m sorry.” I give her my best puppy dog eyes and turn in my seat slightly to face her. She’s putting up a good front. “Kate.” I sign song. 

Ignored.

Nada.

She doesn't crack.

“Anybody home?!” I wave my hand in front of her face with a giggle. 

HA!

She smiled.

“Baby” I sing song again. The corner of her mouth twitches up into a smile. I lean over a place a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Please forgive me?!” 

“Fine.”

“Good.” I reach a hand up to her cheek and turn her to face me, giving her a kiss. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

“Yes please.”

 

———————————————————

By ‘getting out of here’ we went through the McDonalds drivethru and went back to my place where we had a nice midnight happy meal in front of the TV. 

Feet up on the coffee table and food in our laps.

We’re still in our fancy clothes, and I’m praying I don't drop any food down myself. 

I happen to glance up mid bite and notice Kate staring at me.

“What? Is there something on my face?” I ask, wiping at my mouth.

“No, just looking at you.” she says somewhat tiredly.

“That’s not creepy at all.” I mutter under my breath just loud enough for her to hear.

“No it isn’t. You’re my girlfriend, I’m allowed to look at you.” she responds, eating some chips (fries).

“Very true, you can do whatever you want.” I agree. 

Another few minutes pass and I get the feeling she’s going to say something at any moment with the way she's looking at me.

“Come on.” I put down my food on my table, sit up and face her. “Out with it.”

She finishes chewing and puts her food on the table too. “I don't know if this is too personal or if it’ll make you uncomfortable or what, but I can’t not ask.” 

“You know you can ask me what ever you want. I’ll tell you anything and everything.” I respond, nothing but honesty and confidence in my voice.

“Ok.” she takes a deep breath and then asks. “Will you tell me about your injuries?”

“Is that it?! I thought it was going to be some big life changing question!” I let out a sigh of relief. 

“Well I don’t know how you feel about them and if they bring any PTSD with the memories.” she says, taking hold of my hand.

“Of course they bring up memories and some are linked to my PTSD but that’s what my weekly meetings are for; to help me through that.” I squeeze her hand and bring it up to my mouth, placing a kiss to her knuckles. I then bring her into my side in a hug and sit back in the couch.. “Of course I’ll tell you.” 

“Thank you. I only asked because I noticed them tonight with your outfit.” she responds, bringing her free hand up to my left shoulder and lightly tracing the outline of a scar.

“Fair enough. I’ll start with those then.” 

I tell her about how I was shot twice in the shoulder a couple of years ago, thankfully minimal damage was done. I then move on to my back where there are four or five scars from shrapnel; I was near a bomb that went off, far away enough that I wasn't injured or killed, but near enough that pieces of the car that drove over the top of it flew into my back. I told her about the scars on my leg from when I broke my leg as a teenager and needed surgery. And finally I told her about the scars on my tummy; surgery to get my appendix removed and another from a bullet (thankfully missed all of my important internal organs by millimetres). 

“Wow.” 

“Yep.”

“Tough girl.” 

“Thank you very much. But I think I was just lucky to not be injured even worse than I have been.” I say.

“Definitely, I’m very happy you haven’t been injured worse than you have been. Especially considering how awfully some of those situations could have turned out.” Kate responds, curling into my side, bringing her legs up under her. 

“Definitely lucky.”


	15. 'Just You Wait.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! 
> 
> I'm so so so incredibly sorry for such a long wait. Work is literally kicking my butt right now- it's made me ill (messing with my sleeping/eating schedule and because I don't work the same hours every week I can't get into a rhythm).
> 
> But I'm back and I wanted to get an update posted in celebration of the Queen of my heart winning another Emmy!! 
> 
> I don't really know if what I did is actually any good, so let me know how you'd feel/react if someone did this for you!? 
> 
> Song mentioned- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG4nRI9Wmzk&list=PLCBOG_85dKMq8Xc-fPCWHgfC1rXMTpzzS&index=10

A couple of months pass by after the release of Kate’s latest movie and the premier; SNL announced its return date and host for the new season (43 seasons, can you believe it?!), Kate has won her second Emmy award (I sat at home and cried. She looked like a goddess and my heart couldn't handle it), she went to some after parties and we had our own private ‘after party’ *ahem*. 

Me, Kate and Leslie hung out quite a lot too, sometimes just me and Leslie on a few occasions. We get on like a house on fire and I’m so happy for that. So much so, I have asked for her assistance in a little secret project I’m working on. It’s a secret from Kate, but she’ll find out in a few days once it’s all done. 

We’re at the start of the final week of September, which means Kate goes back to work! 

Monday’s are the worst, no matter where you work. Even if you get to work at SNL.

“Get up…” I grumble out upon hearing the blaring alarm.

I get no verbal response from Kate, she just tucks her head into my neck and squeezes me closer.

“Come on two time Emmy award winner, Kate McKinnon. It’s time to get up.” I sing song, bringing my hand (which is very much dead thanks to Kate lying on it) up to brush blonde hair out of her face.

“No…”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to.” she mumbles out stubbornly, bringing the duvet up over her shoulders, snuggling in even more.

“Why not?!”

“You’re too warm and comfortable to move.” she explains with a pout.

“Fair enough.”

Too tired to push further, my eyes drift closed and I fall asleep.

————————————————

“Shit!” 

I’m rudely awoken by the expletive and the sounds of Kate rushing around the room to get dressed.

“Why didn't you wake me up?!” follows a minute or so later.

“Hey! I did, but you didn't want to get up.” I reply without opening my eyes.

“You should know by now that you should ignore what I say when I’m half asleep!” 

“I’ll remember that….” I open my eyes in time to see her leaning down to give me a kiss.

“I need to go, I’ll see you later.” 

“Have a good day my lovely!” I call out to her.

————————————————

“Leslie, Hi. She’s just left, is the plan set in motion?!” I ask, phoning Leslie as soon as I’d woken up properly after Kate had left. 

“Jenna, girl, this is going to be so good! She’ll be so surprised. Everything is ready to go, I’ve got all the tweets and videos on my phone and then I just need you to send my yours once you're ready.” 

“I know! I’m so excited, hopefully she’ll say yes. Just go at your own pace and I’ll get the video to you either tomorrow on Wednesday if that’s alright?” 

“Ahh! I’m so glad you got me in on this, she’s going to love this.” 

“I really hope so Les, I really do. And thank you for agreeing to this by the way!” 

“No problem, but I need to go, Kate’s walking towards me right now.” 

“Ok, I’ll let you go, tell her I said I’ll see her later with dinner!” 

“Will do Jen, speak soon.”

————————————————————

So, my plan.

I’m going to ask Kate to the Marine Ball taking place in November. It’s a great event where you can eat a great meal and chat with fellow Marine and their family (usually their wife/girlfriend/mum as their plus one). I’ve only been to one in the past and that was when I first moved to New York 5 years ago. 

Kate’s taken me to events for her career (the movie premier) and now I want to take her to possibly the only event safe enough for her to go to in my career. 

Seems fair.

And I get to show her off to all the other soldiers. 

If she agrees to go.

Which hopefully she will.

Leslie is going to show her a series of tweets and videos of soldiers asking their date to this Ball in really creative ways and then after a few days of this, she’ll show Kate one final video she “found” when in actually fact, it will really be a video I’ve made asking Kate to attend the ball with me. 

This is the best I could come up with, so hopefully it’ll be ok.

——————————————————

“Hey babe. Did you have a good day?!” I ask as soon as Kate sits down on the sofa next to me.

“Yeah, it was really good. Just got back into the swing of things, had a good catch up with everyone, met the new cast members properly. Yeah, it was nice to be back. Though I do wish I could have stayed in bed with you all day…” She finishes with a kiss to my lips, resting her head on my shoulder.

 

“Good. How is everyone? Good break?” I ask, interested to know how all the gang were.

“Yeah, everyone relaxed, worked on other projects and went on holiday. Aidy told me she started looking into wedding planning, which is exciting. Leslie hasn't been up to much, just killing it in the gym! Which you probably knew, seeing as you spoke to her on the phone this mooring…”

“Guilty. Yep, I spoke to her this morning, wanted to see if she wanted to do a gym session at some point soon.” Not entirely a lie, the plans had been mentioned before! “So all in all, it was a good first day back at work?” I ask, trying to swiftly change the topic.

“Sure.” she gives me some side eye, a look to end all looks. “And yes, it was a good first day back. We were just sat around chatting really, once Lorne had gone over everything he needed to. Leslie kept showing me these really cute videos too, like every 5 minutes she’d found a new one.”

“Oh yeah.” The plan is working! “What videos?” As if I didn't already know.

“It started out as these really awkward teen prom proposals, then it was soldiers coming home and surprising their family and then it was soldiers proposing and then asking their girlfriends to some event. It was cute.” she says with the biggest smile on her face.

“Sounds way too sappy for my taste.” 

Her smile falters slightly, but she recovers quickly. Not quick enough though.

“Yeah, you're like a brick wall sometimes. But I like you anyway!” 

Just you wait Kate. 

Just you wait.

————————————————

Tuesday morning is much like the previous morning; Kate didn't want to get up, but luckily she didn't need to rush so we took our time having breakfast tighter before she left. 

I went home, tidied up the place a bit and then went to my support group.

Texted with Kate before falling asleep at 1am, whilst Kate was still going strong with the writers. 

She mentioned the videos again, Leslie having shown her more as planned.

Wednesday morning was a quiet one; waking up alone in my own bed for the first time in a while. 

Not my favourite thing to do.

Neither is having breakfast alone.

But it’s ok because Kate got home at 5 this morning and crashed before she needed to be back at the studio only 5 hours later.

And now, here we are, sat on my sofa cuddled up with the TV on in the background.

“Leslie is obsessed with these videos, it’s like she’s watched all of the cute couple-y montage videos out there.”

“She sent me one yesterday and I have to say, they are pretty cute.”

“Not too sappy for you?!” she teases.

“No, I’m a big baby really. Some of them are actually adorable, couldn't stop watching them yesterday.”

“Knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.” 

———————————————————

A busy day for Kate work wise on Thursday and Friday meant I couldn't see her again until Saturday. 

However, she’s completely invested in these videos and that’s all thanks to Leslie. The final part of the plan is ready for tonight after the show. 

Leslie is going to get Kate in her dressing room, show her one final video which is the one I’ve made and I’ll be waiting outside the door. 

 

————————————————————

Kate’s POV

The show went so well, Ryan Gosling was a brilliant second time host and we brought back the ‘Mrs Rafferty’ sketch which seemed to go just as well as the first time with him. Everyone broke.

We’ve just finished the show and I’m sat in my dressing room taking off the remains of any make up and trying to tame the post wig hair when Leslie knocks.

“Hey, is it ok if I come in?” Leslie asks from the doorway.

“Of course it is. What can I do for you?” I ask, nodding to the seat next to me for her to take a seat, she comes in, closing the door behind her.

“This is the best video I’ve found, by far. You’ll love this one.” She jumps straight in, her phone outstretched for me to take, which I do and she presses play on the 10 minute video. 

The sound of ‘She Keeps Me Warm’ by Mary Lambert starts playing through the tiny speakers and a black screen fades slightly, white writing appearing:

‘Read the paper in front of you.’

Leslie hands me a piece of paper, pausing the video on the phone in my hands as she does.

“I’m so lucky I found you.”

I look up to Leslie and she starts the video again. 

‘Go to the flowers on your desk’ is the next direction in the video.

I hand the phone to Leslie, who stops the video once again and smiles.

I stand and walk to the bright yellow sunflowers Jenna bought for me that sit on my desk, a small card placed neatly in front of the vase. 

“Thank you for being so patient with me.” 

I turn back to Leslie who hands her phone back to me, playing it once again.

‘Look in the left pocket of your grey coat.’ appears next, the song on its second run through.

I walk over to the door where my coat hangs on a hook. I reach into the pocket and pull out another piece of paper.

“You’ve brought me into your world and now it’s time for me to do the same for you.” 

I look back to Leslie who is somehow using my phone to record all of this, taking in my confused expression before I look down at the phone screen, waiting for the next direction to appear. 

‘Open the door’. 

I swing the door open and see Jenna stood there, in full uniform, smiling at me.

“Hey.” she says with a tiny smirk curling at her lips.

“Hi.” 

“I’m so, so incredibly lucky to have run into you at the airport all those months ago and I will always be thankful for having you in my life. You’ve shared the most amazing parts of who you are and the job you do, with me and I can’t say I’ve done the same for you. But I want to change that. So, will you please do me the honour in being my date for the Marine Ball?” 

“Yes. Absolutely yes!” I jump into her arms, wrapping my own around her neck.

My answer falls perfectly in time with the song thats still playing through Leslie’s phone. 

\------------------------

Jenna's POV

"And you called me a brick wall! This is romantic and sappy as hell, even if I do say so myself." I say into Kate's neck, placing a kiss just under her ear. 

"Yeah it is." 

"Aww, don't cry." I say with a laugh, moving back to run my thumbs over her cheeks wiping her tears away.

"That was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. How could I not cry?!" 

"Oh!" I put her back down on her feet and hold up one finger, gesturing to wait one second. "These.." I lean down and pick up the roses I'd put down on the floor "are for you."

"Thank you." she places a kiss to my lips, taking hold of the flowers and almost squishing them between our bodies.


	16. 'Wobble'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!! 
> 
> Lots going on in this one; many time skips but there were to things I wanted to get done and posted so we can move on to the main plot line. 
> 
> It's a big chapter this one; could be all over the place but quite frankly, I like it! 
> 
> Kate's outfit- https://www.polyvore.com/you_shall_go_to_ball/set?id=229044237
> 
> Enjoy and please let me know what you thought and what you think will happen next!!

The morning of the Marine Ball Kate and I wake up well rested, laughing over pancakes we made together for breakfast. We lounge around for most of the morning before Kate decides to start getting ready- she's doing her own hair and makeup and said she needs plenty of time! 

After a couple of hours spent reading a book on her sofa, I decide it's probably time for me to get ready too. I grab my hairbrush, hair tie and some pins and make my way to the bathroom. 

After half an hour of faffing around and a few curses muttered to my reflection in the mirror, I finally have my hair done. A bun low on my head with a braid wrapped around the bulk of hair, pinned and hair sprayed to within an inch of its life. 

"Wow." Kate comes into the bathroom coughing "oh my god, Jen. How are you still breathing with all that hairspray in the air?!" 

"I'm immune to it I think. Did you need to get in here?" I turn and place a kiss to her cheek, a hand resting on her hip. 

"Yes please, I'll be quick." 

"I'm done in here. I just need to get dressed. We need to leave in just over an hour, think you'll be ready?" I ask, teasing.

"Yes, I'll be ready. Just need to finish my hair and then change." She replies, brining an arm to rest around my shoulder.

"You could always go dressed like this." I say, looking down at her silky nightdress, eyes very obviously stuck at the low neckline and making my way down to where it reaches her mid thigh. Think 'Kellyanne Conway goes mental on Jake Tapper and falls out of a window'. Yep, that's the dress.

"I could, but I don't want those big manly soldiers staring at me, do I?" She teases me, pushing me out of the bathroom and shutting the door. 

——————————

"Jenna!" 

"What!? What's wrong?" I turn quickly, my white shirt flying open at the movement. 

"You're wearing a skirt?!" 

"Oh shush." I turn back around to the mirror in the bedroom, doing up my shirt buttons bottom to top. "It's the uniform, and I hate having to wear one." 

"I think you look cute." Kate says wrapping her arms around my waist, clasping her hands together and resting her head on my shoulders. 

"Thank you." I give her a smile through the mirror reflections "you look cute all the time though." 

"Aww, you flatter me." She laughs and butts her head in my neck. 

"Yeah, I mean, have you seen yourself?! You're beautiful." I reach a hand back to pinch lightly at her side, getting her to look at me. 

We hold eye contact for a few silent moments before she moves to the wardrobe, getting her outfit. 

"Good choice. You look stunning Kate!" I watch her putting on the black jumpsuit, it has a few brass buttons sewn down the front for decoration and the legs are wide enough that it looks like she's wearing a strapless dress. 

"Thank you." She gives me a long kiss to my lips, leaving me slightly dazed when we part. "You don't look too bad yourself." She does the top button of my shirt up and starts tucking it into my black skirt. 

"Ready?" I ask, slipping my shoes and black jacket on. 

"Ready."

———————————

We go through the formalities of entering the ballroom, mingling with a few people I recognise once we're in. A gong like noise fills the room over the chatter announcing the food will be served shortly. Having looked at the seating plan, I direct Kate by the hand to our table, greeting the soldiers already there and introducing ourselves. 

I'm the perfect gentleman, pulling out Kate's chair and shuffling it back in as she took her seat. Me taking a seat (very carefully in my skirt) next to her, placing a hand on her knee under the table. 

The tables are set to immaculate accuracy; the selection of cutlery for each meal led out, glasses spotless and the centre pieces not too showy. 

The food is delicious and there is gentle chatter throughout the 5 courses (completely stuffed by the end of it. I ate way too much). 

Speeches are made and then the bar and dance floor is opened up for the remainder of the night. There is a small band that play a selection of songs in which Kate and I (try to) dance to, hands on each others hips, swaying gently. 

We get a few drinks, of the alcoholic kind, into our systems too. 

Overall, it's a pretty good evening. 

——————————————————————

A couple weeks after the Marine ball came Thanksgiving. 

Now, being an English gal' I'm not one to celebrate the holiday, and the only times I have done have been when I was out on a tour. We had to give the guys something to look forward to and enjoy. 

We did our best though, the food tasted pretty good (there might have been too much sand in it though- it does get everywhere) and we managed to get a connection to watch the big parade too. 

But this year, I'm at home. And home is with Kate now.

She, well, her mum supposedly invited me to have thanksgiving with them. I initially said no as it's not something I celebrate and that it should be spent with family. But, she twisted my arm with her words and puppy dog eyes and I ended up eating the best meal you could ever hope to have. 

It was a brilliant day; we ate good food, watched good television, had good company as I got to know two of the most important people in my girlfriend's life. I got to see Kate at her most relaxed too. Her family is one tight little unit and you can tell they have nothing but support, pride and love for each other. 

And they brought me into that. 

And it was honestly one of the nicest days I've had. 

Ever. 

——————–————

Christmas rolled around quickly too. 

And this year it's different, once again.

3 of my 5 New York Christmas' has been spent with a bunch of burly soldiers who are all wearing Santa hats and singing Christmas songs. 

This year, this year doesn't even compare. 

I got to wake up in a soft, warm cocoon of blankets wrapped around Kate and myself. Our legs tangled together with Nino at our feet. 

We got to share breakfast together and open presents we'd bought each other. Nothing big or exciting, just little things to say I'm thinking of you. 

We watched a couple of Christmas movies, we made dinner together for Kate's family who came over too. 

It was the best day I'd had. 

Until we said goodnight to Kate's mum and sister, and the day came to an end. 

My bag packed and ready to go early Boxing Day morning. 

Kate and I spent a good hour on the sofa, her led with her head resting in the crook of my neck with my arms holding her tightly. 

Then we went to bed where I let slip a few tears and she held me and stroked my hair until we both fell asleep. 

———————————

I left early Boxing Day morning. 

I didn't want to wake anyone up. 

Kate and I said our 'see you laters' last night, and I left her a little note for when she wakes up too. 

I told her how we could Skype on New Years as we always got at least one call each that day. And I planned to use it to call her whether she liked it or not!

Which is where I am now, sat in my greenish t-shirt and camouflage trousers waiting for her to answer. 

"Hey baby! Happy new year!" I say as soon as she answers the call. 

"Hi Jen. Happy new year to you too! How are you?" She replies, matching my upbeat tone.

"I'm ok, missing you though." 

"I miss you too." There's a beat of silence. It's tough being away from the person you're with, your significant other, your partner in crime. 

"Well, what have you been up to? Any parties to go to tonight?" I ask trying to lift the air once again.

—————————

For Kate's birthday I manage to send her a little gift- a card made by yours truly with the snappiest love letter you could imagine and a Polaroid picture of me with a few of the guys at our New Years 'party'. 

She wrote a letter back to me which I received a couple of weeks after. 

She loved the picture and she takes it everywhere she goes in her wallet.   
I made it my mission to write to her every week and Skype at least twice a month. 

But you see, the thing with being away for 6 months is that it's not only tough on you, but it's obviously tough on the people you surround yourself with when you're home.

In June we had what I'm going to call our wobble. 

——————————————

We've officially been together for a year- meaning I'm also another year older. Whoopdidoo. 

We are currently on a Skype call, Kate having wished me a happy birthday and all that jazz. We are having a good catch up that just can't be written down. 

But she seems off. 

"Baby, I love hearing about SNL. You know I do, but can I ask you something?" I interrupt her as she pauses for breath mid story.

"Of course you can." She replies with a smile.

"What's wrong? You don't seem like yourself and you know me, I worry." 

She goes to reply but I jump in again. 

"Please. Just tell me straight." I ask with a sigh.

"Ok." She takes a deep breath in before responding, and I notice her eyes well up with tears. "I miss you so much." 

I hate this. 

She's crying. Full of sobbing and I can't do shit about it. 

I'm on the other side of the world watching my girlfriend cry though a screen when I should be there to hold her. 

"I miss you so much too. You know I do." 

"Is just not used to this Jen. When I'm in a relationship and I can't physically be with them I still have the luxury of calling or texting whenever we want. But I don't get that with you. It's just hard." She manages to get out through her tears. 

"I know and I'm so sorry Kate. I told you this would be hard. And I hate that I can't call you whenever I want and I don't get to hear your voice just because I'm feeling low and need to speak to you." I wipe my cheeks free of the slow tears streaming down. "I... I'd understand if you didn't want to do this anymore." I squeak out. 

"No. Absolutely not happening. I love you Jenna and I'm not giving up on us just because this is a difficult part." She says fully confident with no sighs of crying seconds earlier.

"And I am completely in love with you too, but it's not just this part. It's every time I have to leave. Or when you have to leave. This isn't a one time thing. It'll keep happening and it'll get harder and harder each time, because we'll be so much more invested in what we have." I wipe at my cheeks again. Pesky tears. "I'd rather you got out now rather than a few months done the line when I won't be able to handle not having you in my life."   
"I don't want an 'out' Jenna. I want you. Sure, I might be feeling lonely right now, but you'll be home soon and then we've got a few months maybe a year before you go again. I don't want to lose that time with you. I'd rather have that than nothing at all." She's got a cute little smile on her face and her eyes are extra blue with the tears glazed over them. 

"What a pair we are. God I love you." 

"I love you too." 

We sit in silence for a moment or two, just letting it sink in that we'd just said 'I love you' for the first time over a Skype call. 

"I get lonely too you know. Sure I'm surrounded by people but they aren't my family. There's a lot more free time than you'd think, to just sit and think about what you're missing at home." I declare a moment later. 

"Yeah but it's ok once you start thinking about something else. You've got an important job to do out there." Kate replies. 

"Same for you. You've got SNL which takes up a lot of brain power!" I breathe out a laugh. 

"Which is fine until I have to go home and there's no one there. I'm here waiting for the news to come on and say something's happened over there. And it scares me Jen. No one else is in this position that I know, so there's no one to talk to who understands. The person they love is at the end of the phone and comes home to their bed every night and we don't have that right now." The tears have spilled over and are streaming down her cheeks again. 

"You know I love this job Kate. I'm not good at anything else, I'm not qualified to do-" 

"And I'm not implying that you should choose between me, what we have, or your job. I just wanted to tell you how I'm feeling." 

I let her words sink in for a moment, letting her collect herself too. 

"I'd give it all up for you, you know." I say looking up from the keyboard to the picture of Kate on my screen. "Once this tour is over I'll leave this all behind; we can buy a house together, get married!" I say with a laugh. "Whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want, I just, I can't lose you Kate."   
And after another pause "I love you too much to lose you."


	17. 'So Impatient...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!
> 
> Thank you for all of the comments on my last chapter- they made me smile!! 
> 
> Another chapter for you today, I'm focusing in this story as I'm trying to get the the part I'm dying to get posted- I really want to know what you think! 
> 
> Don't worry though, if you are reading my other story 'you want me?' I will be updating that one mid week! 
> 
> Also- SNL anyone?! Gal Gadot kissing Kate and Kate totally getting into it (until she open her eyes and put her hands on her hips) is my new favourite thing to watch repeatedly and giggle at like a girl with a crush.

A week after our Skype call I return home. 

"Welcome to New York City, welcome home. And if you're just visiting , please enjoy your stay. The time is 1:05pm." The chirpy pilot announces to the passengers. 

I'm a bundle of excited energy: I just want to be home and in my girlfriend's arms for the next week. Scratch that, forever. 

I walk quickly, trying to overtake the families and slow walkers in the tunnel walkway, stoping quickly when I nearly crash into a business woman. 

I make it to the baggage claim, spotting my two bags easily- camouflage with bright orange chord tying them together. 

And then I'm at the arrivals lounge, standing on tip toes to try and see over the tops of people's heads to spot the tiny blonde bombshell. 

Jackpot. 

She's stood in line at a coffee cart, wearing her 'fashion sweats' and a plain white t-shirt. Classic Kate. 

I weave through the crowd, parting like the Red Sea, and sneak up behind her. 

"Do you mind getting me one too? I'm parched..." I whisper in her ear as I wrap my arms around her waist, feeling her tense up at the surprise before melting into me.

"Ahh!!" She lets out an excited scream, turning in my arms and launching herself at me; legs around my hips and arms around my neck. 

"Hello to you too!" I laugh into her neck, dropping my bags to catch her before giving her a squeeze around her middle. 

"You're early! Oh my god you're home." She mumbles into my neck.

"Are you crying?!" 

"Yes! Leave me alone, I'm happy!" She says bringing her head up to look at me, a smile on hear face but tears trailing down her cheeks. 

"Aww, I'm happy too." I bring a hand to rest on the back of her head, bringing her forward to give her a passionate kiss. 

Some might say too passionate but I don't care. 

———————————

After the little airport display and a good old cup of American coffee, I drive us both back to my apartment. 

The whole car ride is spent with my hand firmly holding Kate's in her lap, and sharing big smiles every few minutes, unbelieving to the fact that I'm home. 

"It's good to be back..." I say as soon as I dump my bags inside the door of my apartment. 

"I'm sure it is." Kate says closing the front door behind me "I really did miss you, you know."   
She steps forward and wraps her hands loosely around my hips, looking up at me with a soft smile and a hint of a dimple. 

"I know." I say bringing my hands up to cup her face "I really missed you too." I lean forward and place a kiss to her forehead, then the tip of her nose and then finally her mouth. "I actually have something to tell you, but first I need to shower!" 

"You can't do that!" She cries.

"Do what?!" I ask, feigning confusion.

"Say you have something to tell me and then not actually tell me!" She explains, and then looks at me expectantly "Jenna!" She cries out whilst swatting my shoulder. 

"Nope, you'll have to wait. I won't be long. Promise." I give her another kiss before walking to the bathroom. "You could always join me!" I call out to her as I reach the door. 

Running footsteps follow quickly behind.

————————————

"Ok, tell me now." 

Kate says as she folds a towel she used to dry her hair, coming over to me as I sit on the end of my bed facing her. 

"Fine, fine. So impatient." I mutter jokingly. 

She shoots me a look as if to say 'really? I'm impatient'. And she'd be right to do so; she did wait 6 months for me. 

Goddess.

Saint.

"I'm sorry, I've dragged it out long enough. Come here." I say, reaching out to take her hand, taking the towel from the other and depositing it on the bed next to me, taking her now free hand in mine. "Ok." I take in a deep breath and pull her forward to stand in between my legs. "I'm officially retiring from the Marines." 

"You're what?!" She responds shocked.

"Yep. I'm leaving. Told my boss after our Skype call last week. I can't- I just don't want to do this anymore if it means I lose the most important person in my life. I love you and I don't want to risk losing you for a job that could end up killing me." 

"You're leaving? You're recalling doing it?" She asks, still shocked by my news. I nod in response. "Don't do this for me. I told you not to choose between me and your job. I'll always be here, waiting for you to come home. I'll always be here for you." She frees a hand and brings it to rest on the side of my face, tilting my head up to meet her eyes. 

"But I might not always be here for you, especially if I get caught up in something over there. What happens then; I've left you in the worst way possible." The thought brings tears to my eyes, one escapes which is wiped away by Kate's thumb. "And I didn't choose between you and the job, not really. It's time for me to leave, I've done this for over 10 years, which is an amazing achievement in my opinion. I want to have a 'normal' life and get a 'proper' job!"   
"If you're one hundred percent sure that this is what you want, I won't be against it." She says with a smile and a kiss "I love you Jen."

"I love you too." I pull her down to sit in my lap, legs straddling my hips. "There is one more thing though..." 

"What?" She says breathlessly

"I have to do one more tour, just to show the person taking over how things work. There's a surprising amount of paperwork and new things to learn when you become a lieutenant."

"I can live with that." Is the last thing she says before pushing me down on to the bed.


	18. Do It Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just keeping things moving along! 
> 
> I know things are moving quite fast but I'm just excited!! 
> 
> Outfit- https://www.polyvore.com/talk_about_it/set?id=229325235 (I channelled Emma Stone on 'The Graham Notmrton Show' a few months ago for Kate's look)

"Will you come with me today? I'm doing an interview with Seth Meyers that airs in a couple of days." Kate asks me after a moment of silence as we lay in bed one morning, her head resting of my chest with arms wrapped around each other despite the NYC summer heat.

A month of being home has reminded me that there isn't much difference when it comes to weather between the summer months in my two places of residence. 

The desert and New York are both very very hot.

"Of course I will, sounds fun!" I reply as I play with her hair. "I enjoy your interviews with him the most." I admit.

"You've watched my interviews?!" She asks surprised.

"Of course I have." I admit now shy "it was when we first met and I looked you up. I got pulled into the depths of YouTube and it was just one video after the other and I ended up watching everything I could." 

"You're cute." She grabs my chin placing a kiss to my pouting lips "but you can come and watch it live instead of watching it online!?"

"That would be great." 

————————————

We have a lazy morning in bed, amusing ourselves by playing with Nino, before getting up (reluctantly) to make some lunch before heading out mid afternoon to the studios so Kate can get ready for her interview. 

"So are you promoting a movie or anything this time?" I ask as I watch Kate get her make up done.

"No, nothing this time, just having a chat I guess. We'll probably end up talking about Saturday night live though, which is good!" She replies trying to keep as still as possible as eyeliner is applied. 

"Nice and relaxed then, sounds good." 

She nods in agreement as the makeup artists moves to pick up a brush. 

I watch the rest of the 'getting ready' process; it includes a lot of laughter, some waiting (hair tools to heat up, makeup items to set etc.) and lots of beauty. 

It just radiates from Kate. 

After a lite dinner a little later on, Kate gets dressed and Seth comes into her dressing room. 

"Kate!" 

"Seth!" 

The go to hug each other like the old friends that they are.

"How are you Kate?" Seth asks as he separates from the hug. 

"I'm great, how are you? Ready for the show tonight?" 

I drift out of their conversation and I'm pulled back into focus when I Kate walks over to the sofa I'm sat on. 

"Oh, sorry. In my own little world then." I apologise, standing and stretching my hand out to Seth. "I'm Jenna. It's a pleasure to meet you." 

"The pleasures all mine, Kate's told me all about you." He shakes my hand with a smile.

"All good things I hope." I replay with a side glance to Kate who's smiling fondly. 

"Definitely." He gives us both his winning smile. "I can't thank you enough for your service." He says sincerely.

"Oh. Thank you, it's an honour, especially as I'm not American." I say trying to lighten the mood that had somewhat dropped after his comment. 

"She's my strong warrior!" Kate interjects, wrapping her arm around my waist with a squeeze. 

"Good! Now, I'll leave you to get ready and I'll see you in a little while." And with that Seth leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. 

————————————

Kate's interview with Seth goes well and we end up getting a proper dinner afterwards and taking it back to Kate's to eat in peace. 

Well, as much piece as one can get when a cat is sat on your lap staring as you take each bite...

After Kate excuses herself to get ready for bed, I take a moment to myself and think about what I want to do when I'm home for good. 

I can go and do some classes at the local college to further my education. 

I can try and get a job, but that could be difficult seeing as I have no real experience and no idea what I'd want to do. 

Or I can take a couple of weeks to readjust permanently before thinking about what I want to do. 

As I'm going over all the scenarios in my head there is one constant. 

Kate. 

And then my mind drifts to all the things we can do together in the future. 

We could move in together. Properly. 

We could buy a home together. 

Have a little fury family, maybe a get a dog if she'll let me! 

We could go on fancy dates, or quiet and secluded dates. 

We can do whatever we want because we'll have all the time in the world to get it done. 

Because we won't be cramming everything into a couple of months. 

We won't be scared that the last date we go on will be the last one ever because I've not come home from work. My very dangerous work. 

We could get married... 

We could be a family.

I could have a second chance at having a wife.

And this time I'd do it right. 

And with that thought I start to think of a plan.


	19. "Aren't I Always?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one! I'm on a roll tonight! 
> 
> Please let me know- it might be jumbled slightly as it's late and I need to be up in 6 hours but I wanted to get this done so I can post my big (meh, probably not that big) storyline as soon as I can! 
> 
> I'm excited for you guys to read what I've got coming up, and with the rate I'm going it'll probably only be 2 or 3 chapters away!

One week.

I've got one week left until I go back to a war zone for the final time. 

I've got one week to get my act together and propose to my girlfriend. 

I've got the ring and I know what I'm going to say.

But finding the right time to do it has been tough. 

Heck, I bought the ring two months ago! 

But I'm running out of time and I need to do it before I leave. 

There's nothing wrong with doing it once I'm back, but I really really want to do it before! 

—————————————

"That was lovely Kate, thank you." I thank her after taking a sip of wine that complimented the meal she'd made for our dinner. 

It's date night and we decided to stay in this time.

These are my favourite kind of dates.

I don't have to share her with any fans that spot her when we're out and about. Selfish I know. And as much as I love visiting museums, going to shows or going out to dinner, it's nice to just be in the company of the other person without having to worry about anyone else around you. 

It's so relaxed and we don't have to get dressed up. 

We're in our pyjamas!

It's peaceful. 

It's perfect. 

And then it clicks. 

"Kate?" 

"Yes Jenna." She gives me a dimpled smile, the kind where her dimples join at her chin. 

I stand up from my chair opposite her and walk around the table, turning her chair (with her still sat on it) so she was parallel to it. 

"I love you so much." I open my mouth to continue but she beats me to it.

"I love you so much too."

"Good. Uh, there's something I'd like to say. To you." I stumble as my nerves get the best of me. 

"You can tell me anything Jen..." she replies, looking a little worried.

"So I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few months, you know. About what I want to do when I'm home for good. And I keep getting stuck on different scenarios in my head, trying to imagine the different jobs out there that I could realistically do. And I can't land on one. In my head, my life is all over the place." I start, holding her gaze as I crouch down so I'm more or less level with her. 

"That's ok Jen, you don't have to know straight away." She reassures me.

"I know that, I do. But in all of that mess in my head there's one constant through it all." I pause because I'm a drama queen, thinking it adds to the moment. "You." I smile and she returns it. "You're always there. In each story you're there telling me it's ok if it doesn't work out, or supporting me when I try new things." 

"I'll always do that Jen." 

"I know and I want to do the same for you. I want to be the person that's there when you fall at a hurdle to help you get back up, or be the one to encourage you to try new adventures. Not that you really need me for that, but if you did." I trail off, nervous again. "I want us to be a team and support each other." 

"You're already that person for me Jenna. You have no idea, but you already have encouraged me and picked me back up, even when you weren't here. When you were away, I was having a really bad week at work and just thinking about what you do doesn't even compare. So I sucked it up and thought about all the other times you'd helped me through my bad days." Kate admits with tears filling her eyes. 

"And I want that for the rest our our lives." 

A small gasp from Kate indicates she may have caught on to what I'm about to do. 

I lean down on one knee now. Taking hold of both of Kate's hands as I move, taking in a deep breath as I do to calm my nerves. 

"Kate. God I love you so much and I can't, nor do I want to, imagine my life without you in it. You make me so unbelievably happy and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you've made me." Another breath in. "Will you do me the honour in becoming my- wait!" I stand quickly and run to her bedroom. 

I rummage through the drawer on my side of her bed, finding an old book of mine that I'd cut out the middle of and hidden the ring box inside. Grabbing it I run back to Kate, seeing her sat in exactly the same spot I'd left her, staring at the spot on the floor I was kneeling on moments before.

"Sorry! Sorry sorry." I apologise quickly kneeling down in front of her again on one knee holding her hand in one of mine as the other held the open ring box resting on her knee. 

"Try that again... Kate, will you do me the honour in becoming my wife?" 

"Yes." 

—————————————

We get a solid week to celebrate together; we only tell her family. 

No one else. 

We want to keep it in our little bubble for a bit longer. 

Just until I'm home again and we can decide on how to surprise our friends who are mainly her friends and colleagues. 

It's bittersweet arriving at the airport Monday morning. 

Sweet that it'll be the last time I'm leaving, unless we go on holiday! 

But bitter because I'm even going at all. 

But duty calls and I need to tie up the loose ends; say goodbye to my guys and pass on the baton to the new boss. 

"Do you get to keep your uniform?" Kate asks as we stand at the check in line. 

"Yes, why?" I say, standing straight once I'd gotten my ticket from my bag.

"No reason, just like you in your uniform." She admits with a sly smirk on her face.

"Oh now is not the time!" 

"Not sorry." 

"You will be." I whisper as I wrap an arm around her shoulders pulling her to me in a hug.

I feel her laugh against my neck and I take in the moment of her pressed against me. 

These final few moments will be what gets me through this next month. 

"When I'm home I'm going to make sure that I'm the best fiancé a girl could ever want." I say honestly. 

"I have no doubt about that." 

"No seriously. I'm going to do this right. I don't want to mess things up with you, I'm going to be the best wife you could ever want; I'll cook for you, I'll clean, I'll look after you. I'll do anything you want. I just, I want to be the best I can. Because you're nothing but 100% amazing with me." I admit in a rush, well aware of the lack time we have before I get on a plane. 

"Don't worry Jenna. I already know all of that! You already do that stuff anyway; you looked after me when I was sick before Christmas last year, bringing me soup and medicine at work. No ones done that for me before besides my mom! All I ask is that you keep trying, that's all anyone can do." Kate replies, wrapping me in a tight hug before letting me go to check in. 

"Ok, this is it. The last time I'll be making this trip. I'll see you when I get home. Look after the car for me and check on my place too, if you don't mind. God knows I haven't been there for a couple of weeks." I go over our usual goodbye routine. "I love you and I can't wait to come home and spend a peaceful life with you, well, as peaceful as it can get with you around."

"I love you and I can't wait either." We share a passionate kiss, one that needs to last a month. "Be safe."

"Aren't I always?!"


	20. "I Need To Keep Going."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING- blood, death, injuries. 
> 
> Back at it again! 
> 
> Please enjoy, but don't read if you're not comfortable with the things mentioned in my warning.

"Let's get a I've on guys, we don't have all day!" I call out to my team of 11 soldiers (me being the 12th for a nice even number) currently sat eating their breakfasts in the main dining tent.

"Lieutenant ?"

I turn around at the sound of my label "Yes Major?" 

"Be careful out there, we've heard through some sources that there is a plan to attack coming our way soon. We don't know any details, but it could be an ambush on foot or it could be through their bombs." My boss, Major General Hawkins, explains. 

"I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious sir." I reply professionally. He salutes me, waits for me to do the same, before walking away. 

"Lads! Let's go!" I shout out again.

"Someone didn't get their beauty sleep." I hear one of the guys, Sam, mumble sarcastically to himself. 

"Yeah, well at least I don't spend all of my down time looking in the mirror trying to perfect my hair.." I reply just as sarcastically as I stand behind him with my hands on his shoulders. "Now lets go!" 

It's all in good fun. 

I've worked with these guys for 6 years now, and I set the record straight as soon as I started; yes I'm a woman, but don't think for a second I won't keep up with the banter and give as good as I get. All I asked was to be respected and they'll get the same treatment.

Thankfully the agreement worked. 

"Load up your gear into the two trucks, were going to do a drive around and see if we can spot anything worth reporting." I pat Sam on the shoulder as I turn to leave and grab my helmet and vest. 

Safety first kids. 

—————————

"So you had a good couple of months off then?" Daniel asks as we're driving through the small village. 

6 people in each truck; our gear takes up a surprising amount of room.

"Yeah, it was really nice. I got to spend time with my girlfriend. Huh, well fiancé now I guess." I say with a smile taking over my face.

"Aww little Jenna's in love!" Jack teases from the drivers seat next to me. And over exaggerated kissing noises fill the space too. 

"Yeah, so what if I am!?" I cry out, feeling my face warm up and redden at the thought. 

"I'm happy for you. We've never seen you this happy before." Daniel chimes in again. 

"Which is why I'm retiring. So I can spend my life with her. Hats off you those of you who have a wife and kids waiting at home, but I've don't that and it didn't work out. I want to do this right." I tell them. 

"Well, I'll accept that. Doesn't mean I like it; we'll all miss you Lieutenant." Rob pipes up from a back seat. 

I'm about to say something else but the words are lost on my tongue as a massive boom explodes through the air. 

The brakes of the truck are slammed on and I put my arm out to brace myself in the dash of the vehicle as we stop suddenly. 

"Shit. Radio this in." Is my only instruction before I bolt it from the car and over to my other six soldiers, all lying in different positions having been flung from their truck just a few hundred meters in front of ours. 

I run to the first person I see, Mark. 

My second in command.

The brother I never had. 

He's bleeding heavily from his torso and head, pools of blood under his body, thankfully he's conscious and making noise.

"JACK! GET OVER HERE AND STOP THIS BLEEDING!" I shout, the sound of boots running in the sand meet my ears before a bag is flung down and then Jack's body following it as he rushes to put pressure on the wounds. 

I run to the next person, Dean. 

The youngest of my guys, only 20 years old. 

I feel his neck for a pulse. 

"Fuck." I lone sob escapes me. "One fatality so far." 

I can't dwell on this right now, I need to keep going. 

Jamie. The 'dad' of the group. 

He's screaming in pain, holding his leg as a large piece of metal, presumably from the truck, is wedged deep in his leg. 

"Hey, hey. It's ok. We'll get you sorted Jamie. All those times you've looked after us, well, it's time we payed you back, don't you think?!" I say as I kneel down next to him, "ROB?" I shot over my shoulder. He's next to me in an instant. "Cut of the blood supply to his leg and get him in the truck with Mark as soon as he can be moved." I order. 

"Yes Lieutenant." 

I hear groaning, I stop in my tracks trying to figure out where the noise is coming from. I look around, shielding my eyes from the blazing sun. 

"Sam!" 

I spot him a few feet away from everyone else. 

He was driving, and from the distance he was flung, he was likely right under the bomb as it went off. 

"Sam?! Can you hear me?" I question as I get a couple of steps away. 

It's only then that I see the extent of his injuries. 

He's lying there, in a pool of his own blood, as his right arm and both legs lay flung feet away from the rest of his body. 

"Sam? You'll be ok. We'll get you help and you'll be back at home in no time, do you hear me?! Think of those beautiful kids of yours." I ramble as I start finding any clothing I can to shred and tie around his wounds. "Think of that gorgeous wife of yours too!" 

He smiles lazily at me. 

"Hey! Stay awake, stay with me. You'll make it through this. I'm not going to let you die today Sam." 

I stand up from kneeling next to him and run a few steps back towards the truck "Anyone free comes with me and bring all the supplies we've got." I say with no nonsense. 

Here's the thing. I'm all for joking around, but when we have a job to do I won't mess around. Especially when it concerns the health of my team. 

I'm running back to Sam when another explosion rings through the air. 

This time I'm sent flying. 

And then everything goes black.


	21. A Differnt Point Of View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kate's outfit- https://www.polyvore.com/late_night/set?id=229372354

Kate's POV 

 

It's Tuesday night, which means writing night at SNL. 

It's good to have my mind occupied by this big task of creating sketches in the short amount of time we have. Otherwise I'd be sat at home with Nino thinking up all the terrible scenarios in my head of what could be happening to Jenna right now. 

It's early evening and we'd just had our dinner. Aidy, Sarah, Chris and myself are all sat in our office, tv on in the background as we brainstorm our best ideas. 

"Why don't we try-"

"Shh... turn it up." I interrupt Aidy, the tv having caught my attention, I stand from my chair to move in front of the tv screen.

"This is breaking news. We've received reports that two explosions have occurred early this morning on the outskirts of a small village nearby our very own military base camps in Afghanistan. I am saddened to report that the explosion has resulted in 3 fatalities. We do not know any more at this time if these are civilian or military fatalities." The news anchor reports. 

I feel all of the color drain from my face and I feel lightheaded at the news. 

"Kate?" 

I go to respond by sobs escape me instead and I crumble to the floor. 

I'm surrounded by my three closest friends as they try and console me.

All I can think about is Jenna. 

——————————

It takes me a good hour to calm down enough to talk. 

I explain that that is where Jenna is based, that I have no way of knowing if she's ok until she can phone me if she can, and that we're engaged. 

They congratulated me. 

They said they were incredibly happy for us both.

But my mind can't help but go to the darkest place; what if the past year has come to a sudden end? What if that was all the time we were given? 

——————————

Everyone told me to go home. 

I stayed.

If I'm alone right now I won't be able to hold myself together. 

It's Wednesday. 

A full 17 hours since I saw the news. 

I'm in my own world staring into space when my phone ringing brings me back.

'Unknown Number'

I answer straight away, praying it's Jenna calling to let me know she's perfectly fine. 

"Hello? Jenna?" I ask hurriedly. 

"Hello, no this isn't Jenna. My name is Rob. Am I speaking to Kate?" A deep voice speaks.

"Yes this is Kate."

"Are you Jenna's girl?" I hum in response to his question "Thought so. I wasn't sure if you'd been contacted yet, so I wanted to tell you that Jenna is currently being treated in a hospital in London. She was flown there yesterday after the second explosion went off." He explains.

"On my god, what happened to her?" I cry.

"I don't know the full extent of her injuries but she's lucky compared to some of her team. I'll give you the name of the hospital so you can phone or whatever." 

Rob tells me where she is before telling me that before the second bomb went off, Jenna was helping everyone that got hurt in the first explosion. 

"That sounds like her." I reply. "Thank you so much for calling me, I've been sat here worried sick because I hadn't heard from her." 

"No worries, we were talking about you in the truck and it just clicked in my head, I just wanted to make sure you knew she was alive." 

"Thank you again. I'll let you go, I need to get to London."


	22. "What's Going On?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy!! 
> 
> Mentions of surgery :) nothing graphic.

Jenna's POV 

There's hazy memories, conversations and noises that happened around me that I'm not 100% sure took place or not. The specifics of those conversations are lost as it was just people moving their mouths. There was a loud whirring of what could have been a plane or helicopter. 

These are things I'll never be sure of. 

————————

I'm led down but I'm moving quickly and the harsh fluorescent lights are hurting my eyes. 

"Jenna? Jenna can you hear me? My name is Doctor Jones." An English voice travels with me. 

I nod in response, slowly and limited due to the neck brace.

"Good. You're in good hands Jenna, we'll get you feeing better in no time." The same voice tells me before I'm out cold once again. 

————————————

The next time I wake up I'm led in a very uncomfortable bed, beeping of machines fills my ears. 

Great. 

Hospitals. 

I slowly look around the room trying to test my range of motion and assess any damage done to my body. Thankfully I'm not in too much pain- probably down to the drugs in my system. 

"Oh good, you're awake." A new but familiar voice says from my other side. 

"Laura?" I shut my eyes and shake my head. I must be dreaming. "What are you doing here?" I ask having reopened my eyes to see she really is there. 

"I'm still your emergency contact. Don't see why though." She tells me.

"Thought you'd be the only one who'd somewhat care if anything happened to me and then I completely forgot to change it." I respond, a hint of something in my voice. Annoyance, anger, hatred. Who knows. 

"Fine. I'm going to let the doctor know you're up." 

She walks out the room and a moment later a doctor walks in "Ah lieutenant Mulaney, you're finally awake." She walks in, shaking my hand in greeting.

"How long have I been out?" I ask slightly worried. 

"It's been 24 hours since you arrived here, and you've been in and out of consciousness. You were mumbling in your sleep too, calling out for someone named Kate. Just to let you know, she is here-"

"Can I see her?" I interrupt. 

"She will be allowed in once I've taken your vitals." Which the doctor gets right to. 

"Heart rate it steady, good blood pressure too... now, on to your injuries." She puts the clipboard down on the bed by my feet. 

Huh. Look at that. One leg is all bandaged up.

"As you can see you sustained quite a significant injury to your left leg. A large piece of metal, we believe from the bomb, wedged itself in your leg. With the conditions out there and not knowing where the materials were sourced, you have contracted an infection which we are treating and keeping an eye on. You suffered a sprained wrist and minor shrapnel wounds to your arms and back. But considering how close you were to the explosion when it went off, you're a very lucky lady." She finishes. 

"Thanks Doc. Can I see Kate now please?" I ask with a smile. 

"I'll send her in." 

—————————

"Oh my god" is the first thing I hear when the door to my room is opened. 

And then there's a small bundle of blonde hair and soft lips invading my space. 

"You're alive. I was so worried about you." Kate cries into my neck, and I bring my arms up around her and pull her to my body. "I didn't know if you were gone, I saw the news and I didn't hear anything from you." 

"Shh.... shhh. It's ok." I cup her face in both hands. "I'm ok. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere ever again." 

"Oh sorry...." our moment is interrupted by Laura coming back into my room, now holding a coffee cup. 

"Who's this?" Kate asks having looked to see who ruined our moment, moving to sit on the edge of the bed facing me. 

"Kate, meet Laura. My ex." I look between Kate and Laura. "Laura this is Kate, my fiancé." 

"Nice to meet you." Laura says.

"You too." Kate says awkwardly, wiping at her cheeks. 

"Well as great as this is, Laura would you mind giving us a minute?" I ask nicely, she nods and leaves the room again. 

"What on earth is she doing here?!" 

"She's my emergency contact." I reply ashamed. "Please don't give me that sad pouty look. I completely forgot to change my details when I moved and then by the time I actually thought about it again, there was no point because I was leaving." I try and explain. 

"No, it's ok. I'm not mad. I'm nothing but happy to be able to hold you again." Kate moves to lie next to me, resting my head on her chest and playing with my hair. "I've never been so scared before Jen. I didn't know what to think..." 

"Who called you?" 

"Some guy called Rob. He told me you were here and some of what happened; you were helping your guys who got injured in the first explosion." She explains.

"Yeah, he's the other lieutenant I work with. Great guy." I go quiet, not ready to address the rest. "I've got an infection in my leg and I sprained my wrist. Lucky really."

"Very lucky Jen." She scoots down the bed slowly, resting her head on my chest now as I bring my arm round to squeeze her close. "I'm so happy you're ok. I love you so much." 

"I love you too." 

We drift into a peaceful sleep knowing I'm safe now.

———————————

The next time I wake up if feels like something is missing. 

Like something important is gone. 

Kate isn't in bed next to me anymore, but I don't think that's it. 

"Oh good, you're awake." 

If that isn't deja vu I don't know what is.

"What's going on?" I mumble groggily.

"You've just had a major surgery, you might still be feeling the effects of the anaesthetic. Take it slow ok." My doctor explains.

"What surgery? Where's Kate?" I ask getting panicky.

"I'll get her for you, hold on." She leaves the room and comes back with a tear stained beauty. 

"What's going on?" I ask again. 

"Jenna..." Kate begins but can't carry in through her tears. I take hold of her hands and pull her onto the bed. 

"Jenna we had to perform life saving surgery; the infection was causing too much damage and putting your body under extreme stress. You were showing no signs of improvement on the medication and the decision was made. Know it wasn't made lightly-" The doctor explains, taking a long time to get to the point. 

"The decision to do what exactly?" I interrupt.

"Jenna, we had to amputate your leg."


	23. "She's Giving Us A Shot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for tonight! 
> 
> Let me know what you think- good, bad and everything in between, I wanna know!!

Kate's POV

I'm led with Jenna in her hospital bed, she's drifted off to sleep.

She must be exhausted; her body is trying to deal with the mental and physical trauma she's endured in the past 48 hours. 

A nurse comes in to check the monitors every 30 minutes for the 3 hours Jenna's asleep. 

I can't help but watch her sleeping; she's really here. She's really ok.

The nurse makes an appearance every 10 minutes now and it's making me nervous. 

I see Laura talking with the doctor. 

The ex wife and the future wife both at the bedside. I thought it would be awkward, but it isn't. She's kept to herself and given us our privacy. 

The nurse speaks into the doctors ear and then receives instructions as she moves away quickly, coming back with forms that Laura takes. 

I stand slowly from the bed, making my way out of the room to see what's going on. 

"Hey, is everything ok?" My voice cracks from all the crying I've done. 

"Jenna needs surgery. The infection in her leg is spreading and the drugs aren't working. I'm consenting to the surgery on her behalf as she's so hopped up on drugs she isn't in a sound state of mind right now." Laura tells me as she fills in the form on the clipboard.

"Ok, but what's the surgery?" 

"Amputation." She says simply. I feel the blood drain from my face once again. "She needs to have her leg amputated before the infection gets any worse and spreads. The medication isn't clearing it up and this is the next step." 

"This isn't your call Laura! This is a life changing thing, it should be down to Jenna." I try and argue.

"You think I want to be making this choice for her?" She raises her voice slightly. "But I see the way she looks at you, she's so in I've with you. More so than she ever was with me. You're so lucky to have found her." A few tears escape down her cheeks as she talks. "I won't be the one to take you away from her, so I'm going to make this decision for the both of you. This way you get to be together rather than lose her." 

I don't get to say anything in response because Jenna is wheeled out of her room in the big hospital bed. 

————————

It's a waiting game.

5 hours of surgery meant Laura and I got to know one another. 

She's settled down, not with this Danny character that broke up her and Jenna. She's got her own hair salon in a good part of London, so she tells me. 

We talk about my job and what Jenna's been up to lately as well.  
I tell her Jenna was retiring from the military; that she'd made it to her last tour before being badly injured. 

Laura said I must be pretty special if she was willing to leave that life behind. She told me there were multiple occasions where she's begged Jenna to leave the marines, but she never did. She never wanted to. 

Until me. 

And I've never felt so loved.

I know how Jenna feels about her career and I know it's not something she'd have given up on without a lot of thought or without complete certainty that it was the best thing for her. 

All of this waiting around gives me plenty of time to think about how much I appreciate what she's done for me. 

She's left this life behind so we can be together properly. 

She's giving us a shot at complete happiness.

But we need to get over a few hurdles along the way first.

————————

I'm called into Jenna's room by the doctor, informing me she's awake and slightly anxious. 

Time to break the news. 

I'm stood holding her hands as the doctor explains how the infection was too much for her body and the medicine to fight off. 

How there was nothing else that could be done. 

How she now had to live with the reality of her injuries.

How she had a major surgery.

And then the words "Jenna, we had to amputate your leg." Spill into the room and I can't help but cry again. 

The next few months are going to be tough, on us both, but mainly Jenna with having to adjust to a new way of living. 

We'll be ok. 

She'll be ok.


End file.
